wise hopes rock dudes will top cheesy cheetah (link)
10.25.09 - brandweek - by brian morrissey

hey totally radical dudes & dudettes! shawn here rapping at ya with a few tips that'll help make you the coolest guy or gal in school.

tip #1: get a skateboard. i was recently rapping with a few local teens about what drug-free things they like to do in their spare time & "skateboard with my buddies" was by far the top answer (even among the girls! LOL). from this, i deduce that it's a popular teen hobby, so save up the money from your paper route & get a skateboard. just make sure to wear a helmet when you're ollying!

tip #2: get the jonas brothers' latest album (if you don't have it already). they're the most popular band in the world right now. if you're a girl, other girls with think you're cool & want to talk to you. if you're a guy, girls will think you're cool & want to talk to you, although your conversation will likely be about the jonas brothers, so you should probably pick a favorite jo bro. i recommend joe. he's dreamy.

tip #3: get yourself some cheese puffs. cheese puffs are the pinnacle of cool snacking. chester cheetah, that totally cool, totally extreme cheetos mascot with the surfboard & snazzy sunglasses loves cheese puffs. if you want to be as tubular as him, you don't necessarily have to get cheetos. cheese doodles are cool too. according to brandweek, cheese doodles recently unveiled "a digital campaign to support 'cheez dudes,' a trio of rock-band mascots introduced in august as the faces of the cheez doodles snack brand." since they're in a band, you know they're cool. in turn, that makes cheese doodles cool.

tip #4: get money. money equals cool & the cheez dudes can help you solve your teen money troubles. as brandweek notes, on the cheetos website the cheez dudes are featured in a "augmented-reality game called 'rock the cheez' that invites players to create their own rock video by arranging printouts in front of their computer’s web cam." if your rock video is cool enough, you can win $1000! just imagine all the pimple cream & pokemon cards you can buy with that!

if you follow those four tips, i guarantee that you'll be the coolest guy or gal at your school this year hands down. if you follow the last two, the cheez dudes, wise snacks & the folks in marketing will be very grateful.