can't knock the fruit snack hustle (link)
09.27.09 - detroit free press - by oneita jackson

when you're a kid growing up on the mean streets of detroit, you've got to do what you can to get by. whether it's honing your rap battle skillz or lifting a bunch of copper piping from abandoned homes, you do what you can to bring a little money in. sure you could join up with a gang & peddle crack, but whereas you get to make friends & meet interesting people, that route tends to be a tad bit dangerous & illegal. if you want to avoid going the gang route, but don't have lyrical skillz or agile, copper-thieving hands, there is another option for you: walk around with a box of snacks, offering them to the hungry residents of detroit.

the detroit free press' oneita jackson recently ran into a group of snack-hocking kids on the neighborhood streets & decided to give them a piece of her mind. when a group of kids approached her with a box of welch's fruit snacks & a six-year old asked her," would you like to buy some candy for my football team?" she responded with "no, i don't want any of your high-fructose corn syrup snacks." after questioning them a bit, she determined that they didn't even play football. lying, sniveling kids! i bet they don't even know what an end run is.

eventually, they decided to be honest with her & told her that they were "out here trying to make money so we can buy some clothes and stuff...so we don't have to do other stuff." with "head cocked, eyebrows arched & nostrils flared," she responded with "other stuff like what? you mean like hustle?" um, yes oneita. what did you think they were talking about? starting a hedge fund? once they were being honest with each other, they "had a good conversation about education, life, money and personal responsibility." i'm sure the kids loved that, especially since they clear about $50 apiece from selling the fruit snacks & when they were sitting there getting lessons on life from a detroit free press columnist, it cut into their money making time. i would've been all "time is money, lady. smell you later. we've got to get our fruit snack hustle on."