pumpktoberfest #43 -
treat yoself.

spice up yer nuts.
 

pumpktoberfest 2010!

#195 - links &
drinks 2011.
twitter.

Thursday
Sep102009

nosh nook #129 - thursday, september 10, 2009

new 'smart choices' food labels are deceptive (link)
09.09.09 - fox news - by christopher wanjek

back in the nineties, when saturday night live was still good, they ran an ad for "bad idea jeans." it featured a bunch of dudes sitting around in their sweetly stonewashed bad idea jeans getting ready for a game of hoops & chatting it up. mike myers is all "now that i have kids, i feel a lot better about having a gun in the house." the title card flashes...BAD IDEA. david spade's all "i usually wear protection, but then i thought 'when am i gonna make it back to haiti?'"...BAD IDEA. that's essentially what "smart choices," the "new front-of-pack nutrition labeling program (that) helps shoppers make smarter food and beverage choices within product categories in every supermarket aisle" is...something that people may think is a good idea but is actually a bad idea.

fox news reporter christopher wanjek hates the program too. wow. for once, i actually agree with something said by fox news. that makes me feel very very very very very very dirty. dirty like a fox. aren't they supposed to be for big business? i guess their "anti-label" stance is stronger than their "pro-business" stance. the "smart choices" program is "underwritten by 10 of the largest food companies doing business in the united states" and the items listed as "smart choices" are dubious at best. surprisingly, fox news is also on the same side as the democratic-led government, who has some issue with the program & sent them a letter "explaining politely that they were being monitored." it's like we're in bizzaro world!

i mean, the program has a "snack foods" & "sweets" category that includes items like fudgsicles, teddy grahams & lunchables. eggs? too high in cholesterol to make the list. hellman's mayo? on the list. fruit loops & lucky charms both bear the "smart choices" label, but fruits & vegetables, although automatically on the list, don't bear a label. the average person probably knows that fruits & vegetables are good for you, but if you're relying on a label to tell you what's healthy, you might not. as a result, "the smart choices system merely makes highly processed foods appear healthy when they are not." as wanjek notes, the program's "longevity is questionable, for any consumer relying solely on smart choices checkmarks will surely be diabetic, obese or even dead within a few years." that sounds quite promising.

Wednesday
Sep092009

nosh nook #128 - wednesday, september 9, 2009

gamer grub and mtn dew game fuel (link)
09.08.09 - the onion a.v. club - by josh modell

you have to admit, i'm a pretty funny guy. i have to admit, if you don't, i'll feel funny, like you're not at least trying to humor me about my humor. it's not like i'll go into a corner & cry or something if you don't, but i will spend the next three hours telling jokes to myself in the mirror so that next time you see me, i'll be able to wow you with the funny. if you still don't find me funny at that point, frankly, there's nothing that i or anyone can do for you. your heart is clearly surrounded by layer upon layer of ice.

i mean, not everybody can live up to the onion's high standard of humor. case in point, their extremely funny, sort of eat!drink!snack! style article penned by josh modell that discusses the snack/drink combo of gamer grub & mtn dew game fuel. both products are aimed towards gamers & came from the idea that "ultra hardcore gamers love to be marketed to, and there was nothing that directly said, 'hey, bug-eyes. here’s some sustenance to help you play world of warcraft better, faster, and longer.'" modell notes that MOB gaming (the game grub) & pepsico (the game fuel) realized that in gamers, they had a gold mine on their hands. after all, WOW games "sell more copies than there are humans on earth, and the money they generate could power the sun." i always wondered what made the sun tick. now i know.

he sampled two different varieties of the gamer grub snack mix--pizza and pb&j--for the article. the pizza version "most assuredly does not taste like pizza" & contains crazy fictional items such as "tomato almonds" & "pizza cashews." the pb&j version "is just too damn weird," with "strawberry jelly chips and sweet bread." he even let folks around the office try the gamer grub, eliciting a pretty thumbs down sample of reactions such as "i could see a n00b eating this, but in general, it’s just a big pile of fail. pwned." ha. n00b. pwned.

as for the mtn dew, modell makes a good point about the sweetly abbreviated name--"who the fuck has the time to say 'mountain'?" not me. he tried both the red & blue flavors, but surprisingly "when you mix them together, they turn a ghastly shade of green--which makes no sense in nature." luckily, he works with scientists & one of them hypothesized that "the reason the two colors made green doesn’t actually have anything to do with the color wheel; the combination of the two actually just created nuclear waste." created nuclear waste? mtn dew is nuclear waste.

Wednesday
Sep092009

the musical fruit: movement #11.

the musical fruit: movement #11.
song: "december 4th," danger mouse
fruit: pluot

it's mashup day on the musical fruit! to celebrate, today's song is "december 4th," which mashes up jay-z's "december 4th" with the beatles' "mother nature's son." it's off of danger mouse's the grey album, the 2004 recording that mixed jay-z's the black album with the beatles' the white album (which is totally remastered as of today! 09.09.09! it's like reverse satan day or something!). the jay-z stuff was released a capella for the purpose of mashups & whatnot, but the beatles stuff wasn't authorized, so both EMI (who owns the white album masters) & sony (who owns the beatles' compositions) were totally pissed. they both tried to stop illegal art (the label) from distributing it but eventually, they totally backed down.

...so "december 4th" is my favorite song on the album. it's largely for narcissistic reasons, but isn't that why i do pretty much everything? the song has jay-z's moms speaking over the top of it & she's all "sean this" & "sean that," so although it's spelled incorrectly, it makes me feel like i'm being talked about in a sweet mashup. well...i feel that way most of the time. she's all "sean was a very shy child growing up (so true). he was into sports (also true) & a funny story is at four, he taught himself how to ride a bike (so not true). isn't that special?" i can't ride a bike, ok gloria? why must you rub it in my face? yes! it is special! all tormenting aside, when it comes right down to it, i actually prefer the acousticy danger mouse background over the chi-lites jay-z background from the black album. mashup success!

let's get one thing clear right off the bat. that pluot is sort of shaped like a part of human anatomy. i'm not going to say which one, but that's what goes through my head when i look at that photo. it's a fruit that's a hybrid of a plum & an apricot, the brainchild of floyd zaiger, a biologist who's all famous & shizz worldwide for his work with fruits. on top of creating other hybrid fruits such as the peacotum (a nectarine crossed with a plum & an apricot) & the nectaplum (nectarine & plum), his genetics program has made a ton of tweaks to the fruits we eat. for his work, dude's been declared an "officier" in the "order du merite agricole," which is apparently a pretty important food-related french government honor...all because he loves fruits.

he did a good job with the pluot. it's got that plummy taste but it's not as tart & it has a consistency not unlike that of a peach. i guess that's the apricot part doing its thing. the eating with the skin on test (which will from this day forth be referred to as the "TEWTSOT")? the pluot passed. with a plum, the skin usually tries its best to snake its way between my teeth & hold on for dear life. not so with the pluot. i like that. thanks, pluot. i just like saying it. pluot. PLUOT TEWTSOT! thanks, to you as well, mr zaiger.

...& i'd like to close with a joke:

Q: what do you get when you cross a biologist with an accountant?
A: a zaiger counter

Tuesday
Sep082009

nosh nook #127 - tuesday, september 8, 2009

will kraft swallow british chocolate-maker cadbury? (link)
09.07.09 - time/cnn - by adam smith

hey, remember when the british ruled? when i say that, i'm talking about when the british actually ruled. yeah, that time's over. not so great now, are we britain? u.s.a! u.s.a.! actually, somebody over in china's probably thinking the same thing right now about us americans. never mind. still, we're much more powerful than the u.k. both militarily & politically & as such, we should totally own as much of them as possible. i'm not just talking about owning lame stuff like sasha baren cohen or newcastle united f.c. either. we need to think bigger than that.

kraft has the right idea. as time/cnn reports, yesterday, kraft (the world's second-largest food & beverage company) revealed that "it had launched a $16.7 billion bid for british confectioner cadbury" in "a bold effort to create 'a global powerhouse in snacks.'" a powerhouse of snacks! ever since "mars picked up chewing gum maker wrigley for $23 billion in 2008—overtaking cadbury to become the world's biggest confectioner," analysts were figuring that somebody would eventually make a bid for cadbury. that's where kraft comes in, although they've reportedly undervalued cadbury with an offer that's "half that tabled by mars in its acquisition of wrigley."

the article's written by adam smith, who has pretty much the best name ever for a business journalist. free market, baby. smith notes that the possibility of a takeover puts cadbury in an interesting position. shareholders would make a lot of money if kraft takes over & kraft's promised to "preserve u.k. staff." if cadbury was to turn down the offer, they'd likely have to cut staff to create higher profits for shareholders, which would piss a lot of brits off. those signs point to cadbury selling & as a result, it's "left some analysts backing the americans." heck, if i can still get my cadbury creme eggs but the profits from my purchase now go to americans instead of brits, i'll back it too. viva la mega-merger! viva la u.s.a.!

Monday
Sep072009

#124 - eat!drink!man!woman!

true confession: up until this weekend, i'd never actually sat down & watched eat drink man woman, by director ang lee. regardless, for some reason, when i was trying to come up with a name for this here blog, a variation on the title stuck in my head & eventually won the brainstorm competition. the rest is history. overall, other than his masterpiece, crouching tiger, hidden dragon, i've sort of avoided his films. i blame sense & sensibilty & the ice storm, two movies that i've judged as "pretentious" without even watching. i mean, sure there isn't an outside chance i'd see the incredible hulk, but my unfounded feelings on his films have definitely kept me away from brokeback mountain, lust, caution & eat drink man woman. after seeing eat drink..., i've decided to go back & take a trip through his filmography, maybe even go see taking woodstock.

the story focuses on a taiwanese family that's made up of a widowed father & his three daughters, one who's an old maid school teacher type, one who's an outgoing airline executive & the youngest one, who works at a fast food joint. the father's an aging/semi-retired master chef, who despite the fact that his sense of taste is diminishing, still loves cooking large, gourmet chinese meals. the opening sequence shows him preparing the weekly sunday meal for his family, a ritual that involves hours of cooking with crazy old timey chinese steamers & methods & whatnot. the shit looks AMAZING. about forty-five minutes in, i had to pause the movie when i found myself with my tongue pressed up against the screen.

it's an interesting film with some cool twists & a totally unexpected ending. the plot's driven by the three daughters' changing relationships & feelings about love, but as the title implies, a lot of the story revolves around food. as for that title, it comes from a line in the film, where the father is talking to old wen, his fellow chef & business partner. as they stumble drunk down the hall after closing down an enormous kitchen for the night, the father says to old wen, "eat, drink, man, woman. basic human desires. can't avoid them." it's so true. unfortunately, it means that as far as the name of this blog goes, i've changed that philosophy by replacing sex with snacks. no nookie. just food. that's so not representative of my feelings on life, but oh well.

i like what lee & his co-writer james schamus (who's cowritten every single one of lee's films) have done with the story. we get to see enough of the characters' everyday lives outside of the family that when they're together as a family, we're able to put the way they act in the context of their everyday lives. it speaks to an inherent quality of human relationships: how we act when we're with & not with our families are two separate things, but they still influence each other. it's one of the reasons why tv shows with characters like mad men's don draper & breaking bad's walter white are so damn appealing. they represent extreme versions of our desire to have our own personal experiences & feelings & secrets & whatnot, ones that others aren't privy to. maybe it's the whole "knowledge is power" thing, maybe it isn't. regardless, in this film, the consequences of that desire are profound. eat!drink!secrets!

#124 - eat!drink!man!woman!
snack: barbecue popchips
drink: inko's cherry vanilla white tea



a few months back, i tried out popchips for the first time & then gave em the ol razzing a few weeks later in a column about a ny times article describing their $1.3 million ad campaign. part of the campaign was "an outreach to trend-setters that seeks to generate positive buzz." as an obvious trend-setter, i implored them to reach out to me...& they did. unfortunately, the other residents of my building have sticky fingers & my mailperson tends to just leave stuff sitting out if it doesn't fit in the mailbox, so if they sent me a package in the mail, i never received it. thanks for everything, shoddy brooklyn postal service. you too, grabby neighbors. sorry, popchick.

since i was planning on trying out more of their chips anyhow, i picked up a big bag of barbecue popchips the other night & broke them open during the film. popchips has seven flavors & i've only tried the sea salt & vinegar flavor, so i decided to expand my horizons into bbq territory. like the sea salt & vinegar ones (& i assume the rest of them), since they're popped, they're light & fluffy, like a thinner, crisper rice cake. the bag claims that they're "the tangiest barbecue taste this side of the mason dixon," which is odd. last i checked, they're based out of san fran and the mason-dixon line only runs as far west as the far southwest corner of pennsylvania, so i'm pretty sure they're not even on a side of it. whatever though. it's a somewhat tangy barbecue flavor. they were worthy of me totally popping them into my mouth one after another. it was a puntastic eating experience.

i grabbed a bottle of inko's cherry vanilla white tea to go along with the popchips. inko's is based right across the river in jersey. the company got its start because there weren't any white teas on the market & the founders loved drinking white tea so much that they just had to start their own company. they also discovered that white tea leaves may have cancer-fighting properties, so proceeds from every bottle go to white tea cancer research. here's the science behind it...apparently there are these things in white tea leaves called polyphenols, chemicals that some believe have cancer-fighting properties. since white tea leaves are processed less than other types, they have more polyphenols in them. i can get behind that.

gotta be honest...i couldn't even taste the polyphenols. it's made with all natural ingredients, so what i did taste was a tea flavored with an acceptable amount of cherry & vanilla extracts. the prevalence of the cherry extracts made me think of cherry coke, where the cherry flavor's there, but it's not overwhelming the beverage itself. as far as sweetness goes, on a scale of one to ten, it's "not too sweet." it's sweetened with fructose crystals, an ingredient that the label makes sure to note is "not corn syrup." it's true. fructose crystals are basically the same thing as cane sugar (sucrose) crystals, but without as much of an insulin surge. sounds ok to me. anything that aids my ongoing quest to lower my HFCS consumption is good in my book...doubly so if the whole white tea cancer prevention thing pans out. eat!drink!snack!health!