the fifty states project #6: CA.

if i've learned one thing from 2 pac & dr dre, it's that california knows how to party, or at least they'll know how to do so in the year 2095. personally, though i've attended a number of rockin' parties in the san fran area in my time, i can't attest to southern california's partying skillz, so i'm just going to have to take their word for it. since the state's got the most people of any in the nation & an economy that's larger than canada's, i suppose that their ability to throw an acceptable party is pretty good. they could get beer from their hundreds of fine craft brewers, wine from their hundreds of fine vineyards & weed from their thousands upon thousands of fine weed proprietors. any cali band except for the red hot chili peppers or green day or blink 182 can provide musical entertainment. if all that cali party awesomeness doesn't do it for you, you can just drive east to vegas to gamble your face off amidst a blur of neon, hookers & adrenochrome.

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the fifty states project #5: NY.

if i ever see that car commercial again, the ad with the new york yankees' derek jeter tooling around in a ford whilst jay-z's "empire state of mind" plays in the background, i might have to take a hostage. don't get me wrong. i ♥ new york. i'm indifferent to fords. though i hate derek jeter as a yankee, i respect him as a player. what gets me is that friggin' song. i know it's got the state nickname in the title & all, but it's been played SO often & in SO many places that we risk opening a black hole if we continue to revisit it. let's instead honor new york by co-opting "across 110th st." since interpol's now irrelevant, maybe they can sell off "NYC?" i'd even tolerate the sting version of "englishman in new york" for a while if it meant putting "empire state of mind" to bed. of course, all of these songs are about new york city & not new york state, but that's ok, because new york state is pretty much all about new york city anyhow. deal with it, schenectady.

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the fifty states project #4: IN.

have you ever seen the state seal of indiana? it's f'n crazypants! from what i can tell, it depicts a bison fleeing from an axe-wielding maniac. i'm SO jealous. growing up in NH, all we had on our seal was a picture of the richmond, some warship from the revolutionary war. LAME. here in new york, the seal depicts liberty, justice & a river. LAME. bison + axe-wielding maniac = AWESOMESAUCE. with a state seal like that, it must be the best state in the union, right? well...not exactly. i visited the northwest corner of the state just south of chicago a few years back & even though i only saw that one corner of the state, i'm pretty sure it's not the best state in the union. it's got a lot going for it though. i mean, to the untrained eye, indiana is nothing more than sports & corn, but a closer look reveals that it's actually a land with a rich history full of famous events & people & whatnot. you know johnny appleseed? dude wasn't born in indiana, but he totally died a sudden death one day in fort wayne, IN. history!

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the fifty states project #3: ME.

if there's any state whose people possess a sweet collective nickname, it's the citizens of maine. oh you maniacs! ok. technically people from maine are "mainers," but that nickname's lamer than keyser soze so i ignore it. maine officially came into existence back in 1820, when it seceded from massachusetts & became its own state, one that's almost as big as all the other five new england states put together. it's 90% covered in trees, a fact that makes it the most heavily-forested state in the nation & leads to the state nickname, the "pine tree state." other than its bounty of trees & the fact that like much of northern new england, its population is extremely white (96.1%), what really makes maine special?

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the fifty states project #2: WI.

the fifty states project rolls on! today we're warming up the rusty ol' eat!drink!snack! VW bus SHINY NEW EAT!DRINK!SNACK! HUMMER LIMO & heading out to the midwest for a visit to america's dairyland--WISCONSIN! on a personal level, it's one of the thirteen U.S. states i've never stepped foot in. it's not that i hate it or anything like that. in fact, i know a handful of people from the state & they generally speak highly of it. if nothing, i'd like to actually visit madison one day. it's the state capital & home to a quarter-million people, including the campus of UW-madison. people are largely liberal in madison, especially when it comes to voting. as a general rule, i get a kick out of smaller scale, liberal cities like that, so i figure it'd be cool enough.

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