the musical fruit: movement #26.

the musical fruit: movement #26.
song: "comatose," pearl jam
fruit: avocado

holy crap i used to love pearl jam. after a high school existence filled with gangsta rap, i headed to college & was ready for something different. n.w.a. had already broken up, so it was time to move on & i, based on exposure to smashing pumpkins, alice in chains & sonic youth via my younger brother, started focusing my musical obsessions towards guitar rock, mostly of the grunge variety. i bought everything that alice in chains & screaming trees & nirvana put out. i had the singles soundtrack. i even owned candlebox's self-titled debut. after years growing up in nh, i was definitely excited that flannel shirts had finally become en vogue.

pearl jam was the pinnacle though. i had a ten poster on my wall. i bought two copies of vs at newbury comics on midnight on the day it came out, since the early editions came without an album title printed on them. in fact, i still have an unwrapped copy that i hope will one day put my kids through college. i lost my shit when eddie showed up on snl playing a guitar. to this day, "jeremy" is one of my staple karaoke songs, but at some point after vitalogy, i stopped thinking they were so vital & moved on. between the whole ticketmaster battle, the fact that i wasn't yet ready for stark politics in my music & the oft-cheesy songs they started to write, i got bored with them.

recently, i decided to give their self-titled 2006 album a chance & was glad to hear that it's not as lame as their last few albums. at the time it came out, they hadn't put out an album since 2002's riot act (their longest span between albums) & they came back with a mostly-rocking album that's often been described as closer to their early stuff. my favorite song off the album is the third song in--"comatose"--which, other than a minute reprise near the end of the record, is the shortest song on the album. it reminds me of their earlier stuff like "spin the black circle" & "animal" & "porch," songs that make me feel young again. it's as close to punk as pearl jam gets. so yeah, if you have two minutes to rock out, it's the best song they've put out in some time.

holy crap i used to love avocados. i still adore them & eat them often but for a while i was eating an avocado a day, putting them in bagel sandwiches with turkey bacon & tomatoes and chopping them up into grilled chicken salads & guacamoles on the reg. with its unique, multi-colored texture & its nutty, slightly buttery taste, it's a damn delectable fruit & i figure that, since they're essentially healthy & they've been shown to have positive effects on cholesterol levels, by eating them, i'm getting both fruit yumminess & some portion of my nutritional requirements at the same time. plus, most of the ones i eat are from cali, so i figure i'm helping some undocumented avocado worker get money back to his family in mexico...anything i can do fruitwise to help strengthen the global economy is alright by me.

the avocado pictured above is of the haas variety & once i got rid of those nasty brown spoiled parts on the bottom, it ended up being part of a pretty tasty guacamole. i was at a birthday/holiday gathering a few weeks back & there was guacamole on hand & for a brief moment, the conversation turned to guac prep. james call (of missing teens fame) had a hand in the guac prep & he noted that his style was to scoop the avocado right out of the shell, whereas the cute female specimen in the conversation believed in chopping the avocado into slices first before mashing it up. i'm usually a chopper & i usually like to agree with cute female specimens, but after hearing mr call's comments about guac prep, i decided to mix it up with this avocado, so i scooped & mashed it before mixing it in some with some red & green onions, cilantro & lime & going to town with some black bean chips. i polished off a whole bowl of guac by myself in one sitting & in the end, i was left...food comatose.

the musical fruit: movement #25.

the musical fruit: movement #25.
song: "all you need is love," the beatles
fruit: blackberries

due to the combo of the digital switchover & the death of my digital converter, my TV has been in non-functioning mode for a few weeks now, so i've been catching a bunch of my shows (heroes, glee, the daily show) via the interweb & with that comes the thrill of REPETITIVE PREROLL ADS! YAY! one ad i've been coming across at a disgustingly alarming rate is for blackberry. in it, we see a hip, twenty-something band (daytona lights) as they try to make it as rock stars, all while a cover of the beatles' "all you need is love" plays over the ad. guess what happens at the end. that's right. they totally make it. the tagline: "do what you love." the underlying message: "all you need is love...& a blackberry." there's nothing you can do that can't be done (without a blackberry). there's nothing you can sing that can't be sung (without a blackberry). it makes me want to punch a puppy. a nike revolution it is not. at least nike used the original song in their ad instead of some hipped-up cover, which is apparently not even by the band in the ad. i guess it's just another chapter (chapter 1, chapter 2) in a year of crass beatles' commercialism.

as for the original "all you need is love," it does not make me want to punch a puppy. in fact, my reaction is quite the opposite. the song was originally released as a single & then as part of their 1967 album the magical mystery tour, the album that came out in conjunction with the artsy beatles tv film of the same name. the song wasn't actually in the film, but when record execs wanted to release an album of songs in the film in the US, they didn't have enough material for a full record, so they added the song along with a bunch of other singles & B-sides. the band had first performed the song earlier in the year as part of our world (the first ever live, international satellite broadcast). they played it in a studio accompanied by an orchestra & a bunch of famous musicians (jagger, keith moon, etc) who sat on the floor watching & clapping & singing along. 400 million people all around the world were watching. it was 1967, the vietnam war was still raging & the simple message behind the song was absolutely undeniable. love is all you need. it sure as hell wasn't about selling handheld devices.

while i don't really need or want a handheld device, i did need & want a bunch of blackberries a few days back, so i headed on over to my local produce mart. will you take a look at that bowl? DAMN! SO good. they were about as fresh as you can get here in the city without picking them right off a bush. as a kid growing up in NH, we definitely did our fair share of berry picking, blackberries included, which made it easy to know that you were getting fresh, tasty ones. here in the city, you're often playing with fire. basically, if you're looking to munch on fresh blackberries, you have a short window of time before they become all mushy & disgusting. luckily, my purchased blackberries fell into the window of freshness, so i was able to fully enjoy them without worrying about them being nasty.

some folks can't stand blackberries because they have little seeds in them, but they don't bother me in the least. seriously, blackberries are awesome enough that you just need to suck it up & eat some seeds. i got a few seeds stuck in my teeth whilst eating them but when it boils down to it, they're full of antioxidants & vitamins & fiber & junk, so by eating 10-20 of them, i essentially counteracted all the shitty things i've put into my system over the past few days. did i mention that there's nothing you can do that can't be done (without blackberries)? it's true. i polished off that bowl pictured above & in the end, when i was done, i was able to perform multiple, non-witnessed, beatles-influenced cartwheels in my living room & ultimately realized that, in addition to needing the fruitiness of blackberries, all i need is love. now maybe if the two remaining beatles could use love to end all of the stupid wars that america's involved in, i could sleep easily at night & i wouldn't need fruity deliciousness (or a handheld device) to convince myself that everything's going to be ok. fuck iraq & afghanistan. there's nothing you can do that can't be done, including withdrawing from multiple unjust wars. love is all you need.

the musical fruit: movement #24.

the musical fruit: movement #24.
song: "persimmon song," the reverend peyton's big damn band
fruit: persimmon

although i appreciate the history behind it & the influence it's had on musicians like zeppelin & hendrix & the white stripes, i've never been a huge fan of the blues. sure i love the old timey, but that love doesn't exactly extend to music. i recently came across this new timey old timey blues trio from indiana, the reverend peyton's big damn band & surprisingly, i enjoy what i've heard so far. they're pretty durn bluesy & when i say "bluesy," i'm talkin "we've got a washboard & a steel guitar" bluesy. they've put out four albums & their latest, the whole fam damnily, which came out a little over the year ago, has a number of barnyard rompers on it, songs like "your cousin's on COPS" & "mama's fried potatoes." ROMPERS i tell you.

the last song on the album, "persimmon song," is one of the other rompers. according to a story the reverend tells in this live clip on youtube, the song came into being when en route to a gig in canada, their drummer (his brother) was turned back at the border & banned from canada for five years. the reverend & his wife, "washboard" breezy peyton, still wanted to play the gig, so they continued on. that night, they stopped in a parking lot somewhere & he started thinking about back home in indiana, where every year, they have a persimmon festival & the peytons make a prize-winning persimmon pudding. as for the song, the only lyrics i can 100% make out are "persimmon, persimmon" & "take me back to indiana," but i like it. hell, i've always had trouble understanding what kurt cobain is saying & i never let that stop me from liking his stuff. anyway, you should at least check out this live performance of the "persimmon song" amongst the vegetation in a field in some small town somewhere. it's a hoedown good time.

i'm a persimmon newbie. until the other day, i'd never tried a persimmon & i'm fairly certain that this year's the first time i've ever seen them. i was only vaguely aware of their existence as it is, even though wikipedia claims that they're a prominent part of american culinary tradition. much of the world persimmon crop comes from asia & they come in a number of varieties & shapes. the kind that i got (the fuyu) totally looks like an orange tomato & when you cut it, you gut the stem just like you would with a tomato. lucky for me, i chose wisely because while many persimmons will make your lips pucker up with sourness, the fuyu is one of the non-astringent varieties. me & that sour stuff don't always mix.  

...so i cut one into slices & split it with a friend the other night & i think it's safe to say that neither one of us thought it was a pleasant experience. it's not quite a peach texture & it's not quite a citrus texture. it's not even a tomato texture. it's just plain weird. the taste was sweet & slightly pleasant, but i swear it came with a buttery aftertaste. it may have been that my taste buds were playing tricks on me or that i had one that wasn't perfectly ripe, but it was unsettling. each time i reached for another slice, my brain would ask me "are you really sure you want another one?" & i'd be all "i guess, brain. despite the rampant weirdness, i sort of enjoy the sweetness." then i'd take a bite & wonder why i don't listen to my brain more. he knows what he's talking about at least some of the time.

the musical fruit: movement #23.

the musical fruit: movement #23.
song: "mayonaise," smashing pumpkins
fruit: pumpkin

if i was asked to name the one musician i'd most like to punch squarely in the face, it's billy corgan, the mastermind behind the smashing pumpkins. they're a joke now, but when i first heard the pumpkins back in the early 90s, when my younger brother brought home gish (their debut album), they became my favorite band for most of the decade. their early stuff was filled with fuzzy, layered guitars unlike anything out there & i picked up their second album, siamese dream, on tape on the day that it came out. from there, i bought every single & b-side they put out & even saw them in concert (in rhode island, headlining the fourth lollapalooza). i still loved them even though they were absolutely awful live & the best act that year was the beastie boys, whose set made me think i was going to die in the mosh pit. 

my favorite song off of siamese dream is "mayonaise," the sixth song on an album filled with amazing songs. it starts off with a single guitar & a minute in, a bunch of fuzzy guitars come in, turning the song into a pseudo rocker with occasional quiet parts. there's an acoustic performance of the song on their 1994 video release called vieuphoria & for years, it became one of the songs that i learned & most enjoyed playing on guitar. back in the 90s, i used to listen to the song & bring myself to tears with lyrics like "i fail, but when i can, i will. try to understand that when i can, i will." although i've sort of forgotten about the song over the last decade or so, those lines have sort of become a mantra for my lifestyle. anyway, siamese dream is definitely one of the best rock albums of the 90s & despite how much of a douche nozzle billy corgan's become over the years, i can still put the album on & go nuts over it...not as nuts as present day billy corgan, but still pretty nuts.

...so i have a pumpkin. since today's halloween & nobody cares about pumpkins come november 1st, it's a fruit/squash living on a short timetable. as you can tell from the photo above, although i have plans to see what i can do with it, i've yet to get around to carving it into a jack-o-lantern. from what i've learned, the pumpkin's a pretty useless fruit unless you're willing to remove the insides for pumpkin seeds & scrape the insides to get at the pumpkin meat. actually, one moment...i'm going to try giving this pumpkin a good carving before it's officially november.

...holy crap that was unnecessarily messy. regardless, i have my first jack-o-lantern of this decade. check it! i also have a ton of pumpkin seeds which, when they dry out & are mixed with some olive oil & salt, are going to make a slightly-boring snack that i'll use to subdue my nicotine cravings. other than that, this pumpkin is dead to me. tomorrow i'll probably take it & place it outside my building, where teenage hooligans will likely come across it & smash it to bits in the street...& with that, the halloween cycle will be completed.

the musical fruit: movement #22.

the musical fruit: movement #22.
song: "eggplant," train
fruit: eggplant

remember that song "meet virginia" by that crappy band train? it came out in 98 & went to #2 & was all poptastic. in it, lead singer patrick monahan helps us meet virginia with cute lil lines like "daddy wrestles alligators. mama works on carburetors. her brother is a fine mediator for the president." if you check out the video, you'll notice that virginia is actually rebecca gayhart. it was the first major hit off of their self- titled debut album & is important enough that amazon prices it higher than any other song on the album. by their second album, peeps were taking home "best rock song" grammys. tee hee. the recording industry thinks train is "rock."

the debut album also contained a song called "eggplant." it's a little ditty in the middle of the album & believe me, it's equally as awful as any of their stuff. check out these lyrics--"hold up my wings cause you are the sky. paint me by numbers & don't ask me why. i am in bloom and you are perfume and you are perfume and you are." just try listening to the song without throwing up in your mouth a little. i dare you. the lyrics do mention eggplant & caviar & apple pie, which is pretty cool. coincidentally, they just released their fifth album, save me san francisco today. i checked out the first single, "hey, soul sister" & i can assure you that with this song, the lame train is still on the tracks & chuggin' on into a new decade.

so, um, it turns out that the eggplant is a fruit, a berry even. who knew? sometimes you think you're getting a woman & you end up getting a man. life's full of wacky surprises like that. so i have this one pound eggplant. awesome. there it is. right up there in the photo. says so on the side. what the hell am i going to do with it? bake it? stuff it? bread it & fry it like mom used to do? i can't remember the last time i made an eggplant. it's a gem of an eggplant too. i purplized it a bit in photoshop for dramatic effect, but my produce mart lady assured me that "this is a good one. you can tell by the skin." then she smiled at me. she was watching the mayoral debates at the time & asked my opinion. i told her i thought bloomberg should not get a third term. then she frowned at me.

back to the eggplant though...here's what i decided on. i've cut half of it into slices & they've been soaking for about an hour now in a balsamic vinaigrette. as soon as this oven heats its lazy electric ass up, i'm going to bake the hell out of those slices. when they're done, i'm going to toss them in with some gnocchi & a little florentine spinach & cheese sauce & fuggetaboutit! i have a feeling that the other half of the eggplant is destined for something involving couscous, but we won't know for sure until tomorrow when i see how beaten down i feel after work & can properly judge my evening food prep ambitiousness. here's to a future of wednesday night non-sluggishness!