excuse me sir! excuse me! do you like comedy? ok, good. well, i don't have any cheap tickets to a stand-up comedy act for you, but i do have a lil' comedic recommendation for yo ass. check this out: remember how you used to go out on fridays & hang out with other humans? yeah, well...scrap that. from now until the last friday in march, you should probably stay in on fridays...strictly for comedic reasons.

here's why...