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Friday
Oct232009

nosh nook #160 - friday, october 23, 2009

to complete your day, the windows 7 whopper (link)
10.22.09 - cnet - by scott stein

it's official, geek faces. yesterday, microsoft finally unleashed windows 7, their latest & greatest operating system, on the world. from what i've read, this time, rather than adding a bunch of useless, buggy crap to their new release, they focused on improving & streamlining what they had. that's right. as of yesterday, if you wanted to upgrade your pc's OS, all you had to do was hop on a torrent site & grab yourself a free copy. thanks, technology! we need to get excited people! this weekend, you should throw a windows 7 torrenting party to celebrate!

since they love new technology in japan, they're wicked excited about windows 7. according to cnet, to commemorate the release, japan's burger kings started selling "windows 7 whoppers" yesterday. the sandwich is seven patties & five inches tall & when they introduced it, it was "for a special price of 777 yen ($8.50); at least, for the first 30 customers." burger king's been known for pulling some slightly inappropro promo stunts over the last decade or so & this one has to be up there in the top three.

as cnet points out, it's interesting that they're pairing an OS "touted as 'leaner and meaner'" with a gut-busting sandwich. seriously, i don't see how anyone but kobaishi could eat this thing. as it is, a triple whopper has 1160 calories, so the windows 7 whopper has to be somewhere in the 2500 calorie range. that's like a whole day's worth of calories for a salary man. on a related note, the this is why you're fat book comes out next tuesday. i guess the windows 7 whopper won't be featured until their next book.

Monday
Jul272009

nosh nook #96 - monday, july 27, 2009

report: nkorea opens 1st fast-food restaurant (link)
07.25.09 - the ny times - by ap

hans brix? oh no! oh, herro. great to see you again, hans! why don't you come in & enjoy one of our tasty north korean hamburgers? excuse me...north korean "minced beef & bread." they're really tasty & wouldn't you much rather have a tasty minced beef & bread than worry about which countries have nuclear technology & which ones don't? which ones are letting inspectors in & which ones aren't? which ones need to have people-crushing sanctions imposed on them & which ones don't?

that's right, folks. last month, with the help of a singaporean company, north korea opened up pyongyang's first fast food restaurant. it looks like your average fast food joint, but as the times reports, the menu at the restaurant--samtaesong--"is careful not to call its signature fare a hamburger--lest it give the impression north koreans had embraced the american icon." i know the hamburger's an american icon & all, but i really hope that north koreans aren't over there behind the il curtain, thinking that americans dine on is hamburgers. we're so much more than that. we also like fries with our burgers.

the average north korean can't even afford to eat there, what with the messed up economy & food shortages & whatnot that the country's having. the times notes that "the minced beef and bread at the new fast-food restaurant costs only $1.70...but that would eat up more than half of the average north korean's daily income. south korea's central bank put last year's average per capita income at $1,065." it's too bad, really. the restaurant also has kimchi, waffles & draft beer & "plans to add croissants and hot dogs to its menu in the coming months." it's like a smorgasbord of food items with no discernable theme...except for the NOT AMERICAN theme. after all, we are basically the devil or something & nobody wants a devil-themed restaurant...or do they?

Wednesday
Jul012009

nosh nook #78 - wednesday, july 1, 2009

critics cringe at ad for burger king's latest sandwich (link)
06.30.09 - fox news - by joshua rhett miller

over the past decade, burger king's really been vying for our attention by putting their all into creating some of the wildest & craziest fast food marketing campaigns around. a few years back, they launched the subservient chicken website, which totally went viral. they created a campaign on facebook that rewarded people with a whopper if they removed ten friends from their friend list. late last year, they released a body spray that smelled like meat. now, as part of a limited time promotion in singapore for the "bk super seven incher," they've released an ad that's topped them all in terms of its shock value.

...& if you're fox news, burger king has gone too far. the ad "shows the 'mind-blowing' sandwich near the open mouth of a wide-eyed, red-lipsticked woman accompanied by the suggestive tagline: 'it'll blow your mind away.'" as always, when fox news thinks that somebody's gone too far, they've launched what's obviously a "fair & balanced" investigation into the matter & gone to "advertising experts" to get their "fair & balanced" opinions. who are these advertising experts? blogger & ad copywriter mark duffy, scott purvis of the marketing & advertising firm gallup & robinson and mark crispin miller, an nyu professor of media studies. they were all totally shocked & appalled.

their complaints? duffy said it's "among the "worst" he's ever seen in more than 17 years" and noted that since the woman's face in the ad & the sandwich appear retouched, "they obviously didn’t hire a top-notch food photographer." purvis felt that it went too far & is "the kind of ad you might see for a smaller brand trying to get itself noticed." mark crispin miller was quoted as saying that "this is objectionable because it's outrageously exaggerating the pleasure of burger king. it's not that good, even as food, and therefore nowhere near as gratifying as an orgasm. there's no doubt they intended a double entrendre (sp)."  really? burger king's not as good as an orgasm? there's no doubt that they intended a double entendre? i can see why he's a professor...the dude's obviously a genius.

i'm not saying that objectifying women in a fast food ad is a good thing, but it isn't really any different than many other ads out there.  it's just being more blatant in its sexual connotations. plus, as a burger king spokeswoman said in the article, "this print ad is running to support a limited time promotion in the singapore market and is not running in the u.s. or any other markets. the campaign is supported by the franchisee in singapore." it's a limited time promotion in singapore, people. get over it.  that is, unless fox news has already got you all riled up about it, in which case you should probably turn off fox news, get off your couch, scribble up a sign & go to your local burger king to demand that they pull the ad...& since it's not running anywhere in the u.s., a swift victory will be yours.

Wednesday
May132009

snack away! #7 - free market snackin'.

we at the pursuit cast put on a regular podcast about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. we're neither republican, nor democrat - we just try to do the right thing. we started it because we felt like no one in the regular media expressed a sane viewpoint about politics and philosophy and continue it as a way to get our thoughts out there. we're trying to make friends with like-minded people, not initiate conflict with people who don't feel the same way. so far, it's been successful. if you care to listen and have an open mind - we'd love to have you check out an episode or two. it gives us a chance to share a bit of ourselves outside of our day jobs.

we (frank and mike) over at pursuitcast.com work very hard at our day jobs. that's plural - jobs - we are involved directly in the operations, or oversight, of several companies each. in addition, we both have board seats at a cloud computing and IT cost reduction service and an agronomy project aimed at developing stable economies in places where currency is neither accessible nor viable (names withheld to protect the innocent). we're working out some details in nigeria, india and vietnam as you read this. our work is very fulfilling. however, this pace leaves very little opportunity for leisure time. we're pretty much all grind, all the time.

after you've given us a listen, it's pretty clear that we're those unapologetic free market types...sometimes shockingly so to the innocent bystander. backyard barbecues, should we ever get the chance to attend them, can turn into an episode of family feud pretty quickly. i guess that's part of the reason behind the podcast, so that we may avoid sharing our politics in polite company and just refer them to our link to subscribe. we're real outcasts in that, being of a free market persuasion, we feel that we are justly entitled the fruits of our labor, and that taxes are an intrusion into our liberty. the tax rate is way too high. this, coupled with our schedule, precludes us from doing something we both consider essential to our happiness...drinkin' and snackin'.

it is a common misconception that we free market types only drink essence of bunny rabbit and snack on the delicate and tasty souls of lost and exploited children. however, nothing could be further from the truth. we're real capitalists with morals and values rooted in the golden rule, although we hear that the souls of children are a delicacy at some institutions on wall street. when we're not out on the grind, we like to kick back and have some good conversation over a drink and snack, so without any more jibber-jabber - here's what it's like to snack pursuit cast style...

snack away! #7 - free market snackin'.
guest bloggers: frank speiser/mike perrone (the pursuit cast), new york, ny

snacks: shake shack cheeseburger / nobu next door california roll
drinks: dun bheagan 26-year-old scotch / 1938 macallan / tesseron lot 53
cigars: montecristo D LE 2005 / padron 1964 anniversario series



the pre-game - we don't get this kind of downtime very often, so we're not going to crack open a pabst blue ribbon and crush the empty and comically recyclable can on our chests. actually, mike may do that, but it'd be on someone else's chest, and somehow he'd get away with it. normally, we prefer to transition from sharply-focused capitalists to relaxed family men via the consumption of a good scotch whisky. again, we don't get a lot of time for this, so we're not talking some urine-esque johnny walker red nonsense.

we're going to kick things off with a dun bheagan 26-year-old scotch. it's got a welcoming, nutty and caramel-like flavor that makes you almost forget that someone proposed a bill that would further limit the amount hard work and savings you can pass on to your children...yet again. we drink this either straight or with two ice cubes depending on the weather. it's about this time in the process that we'll probably start talking about some of the funny things our kids do and what we hope to teach them some day. we're now among friends and life is good...then we'll have another, because we can.

the main event - after we've managed to take the edge off, we're in full snack mode. brace yourself.

we're all for job creation, so we're not going to get something off-the-shelf. we're going to hire a courier and each grab a single cheeseburger from the shake shack - and not that johnny-come-lately shake shack uptown in manhattan on 77th and columbus. we're keeping it real with the madison park original. we're also picking up a california roll from nobu next door on franklin and hudson. of course, we tip extra if the food gets back to us at the right temperature. we're going to pair that up with a 1938 macallan that was bottled in 1973. this might give pause to all those connoisseurs out there that think thar be a travesty to drink a scotch from 1938 with a cheeseburger and a sushi roll, and we concede it is irregular. however, it's also time and money we earned so we highly recommend that you kiss our asses.

the tint of fruit and spices is exceptional in the 1938 macallan - especially to two guys who don't swill some half-dewars/half-water concoction at 5:45 p.m. every day. it's a real treat. the apple notes in the macallan (and you really can taste 'em) make for a nice compliment to the burger (apples and burgers go great together) and the spiciness allows you to rotate in a bite of nobu's sushi roll to cleanse the palate. try it, and then don't tell us about it later.

right about now, we're probably talking about how nancy pelosi looks like skeletor, or how "conservative" talk show host mark levin sounds like that angry guy in the grocery store yelling at canned goods. everything seems funnier after three to four glasses of great scotch. we're also glad to remind someone that we employed craftsmen in the culinary and whisky industries--not some mass-production sweatshop--and that we've done our part to lower the price for the next marginal customer who wants to order the same snack by making it easier for the proprietors of these fine establishments to expand, should they choose to do so.

the post game - you should know that when we're snacking (or doing anything), we're not going to half-ass it. you don't just snack and run...not on our watch...so what we're going to do is wrap this thing up with a cigar and a cognac. if you didn't know what you were doing, you might go with the tesseron lot 29 cognac (bottled in 1929). that lot is for suckers. 1929 was the year of the sucker (YOTS) until 2008 came along. the real deal is the tesseron lot 53 (bottled in 1953). the candy complexion and dark fruits of the flavors offer enough depth to compliment the cigars we're sparking up to finish this off.

this next part is where mike and frank differ. we're not going to have the same cigar. that assumption is just impolite...we're not communists, after all. mike's going with the montecristo D LE 2005 for its even draw and the fact that it finishes well. they are mild, creamy cigars that don't pull any surprises on you. frank, on the other hand, is going to get contra with it and go with the padron 1964 anniversario series, live and direct from nicaragua. these are little more potent, but one of these still fits well with the tesseron 53 and the cocoa flavors that kick in after the halfway point are kick-ass, to use the technical term. the flavors shift and morph as you get through the cigar. it's a great way to end the snack session and remind us of why we work so hard at trying to provide real, measurable value. hank rearden's not walking through that door, people.

oh yeah, another thing - neither one of us is going to smoke a cuban cigar. they're overrated flavor-wise and the construction has since been replicated by master cigar makers at both padron and montecristo. besides, the castros can bite us; that semi-colon is for you - fidel.

the conclusion - it's great to know that there are people who take so much pride in their trade and we're happy to buy their unique products. the drinks, snacks and cigar we've chosen come from the work of people who sought to make a unique and different mark on life. their self-determination led them to be able to offer such a unique taste experience that we're willing to spend our money (and thus our own time) to go out of our way and get their products. instead of common, commodity state-issued rations of alcohol and meals, the market provides a way for us to earn some discretionary income and then spend that on some unique products that only the talents of specific people with dedication and drive can bring to the market. we also employed someone who is likely getting a start in this country in picking these products up for us and if they did a good job, we're happy to be able to tip even more. it's a start, but we know that it's just a stepping stone.

if we had just a 1% reduction in our tax burden, we might snack like this once a week. maybe with more claim to our own income we would see more competition for great scotch and burgers and bring the prices down for everyone. sounds like an idea for a future podcast, and with that we're back to work. thanks to mr. pyro for having us on. keep snacking, brother.

frank & mike are big fans of the free market. please catch them on the pursuit cast by subscribing via itunes at: http://tinyurl.com/pursuitcast or visiting podcast.com: http://podcast.com/show/139477/The-Pursuit-Cast/.

Monday
Apr132009

nosh nook #21 - monday, april 13, 2009

in tough times, restaurants try mini burgers to get a nibble (link)
04.12.09 - usa today - by bruce horovitz

mmm mmm mmm.  tiny burgers.  white castle built an empire on them.  joints such as the now-defunct burger joint (which specialized in tiny burgers) & other like-minded eateries have sprung up in nyc & other locales around the country.  hordes of hip restaurants & bars have added sliders (mini burgers) to their menus, adding a snacking option that's both cute & meaty, making it accessible to both the gals & the guys.  chicks dig cute & guys dig meaty, if you know what i mean.  trust me.

according to the article in usa today (america's favorite hotel newspaper!), the current fascination with mini burgers is a side product of the current economic downturn (tiny = inexpensive), but as the fast-food chains embrace the craze, "(t)hey're putting the best face on it by positioning minis as fun food."  it's true.  burger king has commercials for their minis where slightly uncool dudes, just by possessing bk burger shots, are flocked by hot chicks cooing because their burgers are soooooo cute & tiny & adorable!  yes, burger king has basically replaced babies with tiny burgers.  soylent green is people.

the article goes on to break down the various fast-food minis.  there are the aforementioned burger shots, which, according to the bk marketing chief "scream 'shareability.'"  jack in the box has mini burgers & is testing chicken versions.  mcdonalds has their previously covered mac snack wrap, now available beyond canada.  johnny rockets' mini versions sound the best...mini burgers, hot dogs & chili dogs, available with free chipotle sauce.  mmm.  mmm.  mmm.  free chipotle sauce.