#113 - only in new york.

WTF NYC? i leave you alone for a few days last week & upon my return, you & your immediate environs start actin a fool & stirring up all sorts of good ol fashioned trouble. it's the summer. you couldn't just chill out & enjoy it, could you? you had to go grabbing for attention & get arrested & scandalized & brought up on charges for a wide range of things all in the same week, didn't you?

on tuesday, you started off light when it was reported that over the past week, mayor bloomberg (who had strengthened the city's anti-idling law earlier this year, prohibiting idling over three minutes) was caught idling his vehicles for up to an hour on multiple occasions. then the next day, it was revealed that a local man who grew up in long island had traveled to the pakistan/afghanistan border & trained with al-qaida, along the way providing them with details about the LIRR & the NYC subway system. that same day, a judge ruled that FDNY exams had discriminated against minorities, despite the fact that the rescue me firehouse totally has a black guy & a hispanic guy.

the very next day, on thursday, 44 new york & new jersey officials, including two state lawmakers, the mayors of hoboken, secaucus & ridgefield and a number of rabbis (including one from brooklyn who sold black-market kidneys), were arrested as part of a wide-sweeping FBI sting. to close out the week, on friday, obama announced his new education stimulus guidelines & guess which state wouldn't qualify under the guidelines? that's right...you, new york. hell in a hand basket much?

NYC...i just don't know what to do with you, but i suppose there is some hope for you, some good coming out of you. the naked cowboy, fresh on the heels of taking on mars, inc, announced this week that he's throwing his hat into the ring for mayor. j lo & her boo-tay celebrated their 40th birthday on friday, the same day that minimum wage in the state went up by a whopping ten cents...& of course, there's the big one. steely dan's coming to the city for a run of eight shows at the beacon theater starting tomorrow night. with all the dirty work that's been going on around here, it's just what the city needs right now.

#113 - only in new york.
snack: glenny's all natural multi grain milk chocolate drizzle crisps
drink: new york homestyle pomegranate blueberry acai iced tea



to go along with the area's recent uppity nature, i'm celebrating with a snack/drink pairing from two long island companies. for my snack, i went with a bag of glenny's all natural multi grain milk chocolate drizzle crisps. they're made by a company out of freeport, long island, a company that's celebrating their 30th anniversary this year. according to their website, their "soy crisps are now the #1 selling soy crisps in drugstore chains across the u.s." way to go, glenny. they've even won a horribly unnecessarily-apostrophied & grammar-deficient award for supporting the soldier's in iraq.

their milk chocolate drizzle crisps are pretty good overall. they're basically like a rice cake, but not as thick & crumbly. healthwise, these bad boys are totally kosher & they're made out of the flours of corn, rice, oat & wheat, with some soy bits tossed in, so you're getting a good amount of fiber. the drizzle of chocolate makes it so that it doesn't taste like you're eating air, which is a nice touch. still, like with rice cakes, even an entire bag of them isn't very filling.

for my drink, i had a bottle of new york home style pomegranate blueberry acai iced tea, made by multi-vitamin energy corp, a company out of bay shore, a hamlet about a half hour west down route 27 from freeport. i don't know what exactly qualifies their iced tea formula as "new york home style," since it's essentially no different than any other iced tea.  in fact, since they use cane sugar in their iced tea, it has a taste akin to a snapple, the one-time official iced tea of new york.

because of the fruit trifecta, it's a little sweet for an iced tea, but i can handle a little sweetness here & there, especially if it's not because of HFCS. not only is it an acceptable iced tea, but it also has manhattan fun facts on the side of the label. my favorite: "manhattan's central park is larger than the principality of monaco." take that, prince albert II! i heard your father's stuck in a can! booyah!

nosh nook #96 - monday, july 27, 2009

report: nkorea opens 1st fast-food restaurant (link)
07.25.09 - the ny times - by ap

hans brix? oh no! oh, herro. great to see you again, hans! why don't you come in & enjoy one of our tasty north korean hamburgers? excuse me...north korean "minced beef & bread." they're really tasty & wouldn't you much rather have a tasty minced beef & bread than worry about which countries have nuclear technology & which ones don't? which ones are letting inspectors in & which ones aren't? which ones need to have people-crushing sanctions imposed on them & which ones don't?

that's right, folks. last month, with the help of a singaporean company, north korea opened up pyongyang's first fast food restaurant. it looks like your average fast food joint, but as the times reports, the menu at the restaurant--samtaesong--"is careful not to call its signature fare a hamburger--lest it give the impression north koreans had embraced the american icon." i know the hamburger's an american icon & all, but i really hope that north koreans aren't over there behind the il curtain, thinking that americans dine on is hamburgers. we're so much more than that. we also like fries with our burgers.

the average north korean can't even afford to eat there, what with the messed up economy & food shortages & whatnot that the country's having. the times notes that "the minced beef and bread at the new fast-food restaurant costs only $1.70...but that would eat up more than half of the average north korean's daily income. south korea's central bank put last year's average per capita income at $1,065." it's too bad, really. the restaurant also has kimchi, waffles & draft beer & "plans to add croissants and hot dogs to its menu in the coming months." it's like a smorgasbord of food items with no discernable theme...except for the NOT AMERICAN theme. after all, we are basically the devil or something & nobody wants a devil-themed restaurant...or do they?

#112 - fork n stick goose berry.

...so after much chatter & anticipation on my part, last thursday, i finally took myself a lil vacation out to chicagoland for three days of city-roaming adventure & festival music & hanging with ms allison, lover of sparks in moderation & owner of a much better camera than i. the festival--the annual indie rock shindig put on by pitchfork in union park--began on friday night & since she was doing the working thing during the day, i decided to do some exploring. basically, i walked from lincoln park down to wrigley, trained it down to millennium park for a bit & then trained it up a couple stops on the red line to chicago ave & along the way, hit a record shop, a taco joint, a CVS & a mostly empty cafe (inspired by a nyc joint) for a few 4pm beers.

the first night of the festival featured sets from a lineup of old-timey indie rockers--tortoise, the jesus lizard, yo la tengo & the headliner, built to spill. it was a "write the night" day (the fans voted on the setlist) & it was also apparently "thirtysomething indie rock fan night." we missed tortoise, but got there in time for the jesus lizard, which, as expected, was a bunch of chugga chugga guitars & a sweaty dude jumping into the crowd. i've had my fill of yo la tengo, so they were background music. as it got dark, built to spill closed out the night. i'm only vaguely familiar with them, but seriously enjoyed their set & even recognized a few songs here & there.

on saturday, we arrived at the park mid-afternoon, just as fucked up were finishing up & i did three hours straight of hopping between the three stages, catching a little bit of every act playing during that time--the pains of being pure at heart (solid fuzz), bowerbirds (folky), final fantasy (twee), ponytail (bouncy), yeasayer (yawn), wavves (eh) & DOOM (lots of white boy dancing & head bopping). after that string, i ran into a chicago-based friend who i know from nyc & we waited in line for the bathroom for 40 minutes, catching up before we headed over to watch beirut. she was there to see them & pretty much nobody else, but i wasn't all that impressed with them. the night ended with the black lips on one stage & the national on the main stage & we hung out & watched the national. my assessment: weird headliner, too slow at times, quite good when they actually rock & fall into garbage cans & whatnot.

the final day started pretty early. i'd considered heading in at 1pm to check out the mae shi (who apparently played their last show before all but one band member left the band), but decided to pass on them & instead began the day around 2pm with scotland's frightened rabbit. i expected them to be boring, but they sort of rocked & are now my 2nd favorite rabbit named musical act. sorry, eddie. when they finished up, we moved on over one stage to check out portland's blitzen trapper. i don't know much by them, but that furr song (live/video) rules. from there, we caught a few songs by women before heading to the main stage for the thermals. i friggin love them. in addition to their own rockin ass, jumping jack inducing songs, they played covers of sonic youth's "100%" (which i missed), nirvana's "sappy," the breeders' "saints" & green day's "basket case." SO GOOD. after them, i caught parts of sets by the walkmen, japandroids, m83, grizzly bear & mew. very impressed with the first two, not at all with the last three.

the flaming lips were on the main stage to close out the festival, with the very best playing opposite them on the schedule. for the lips, we were so far away from the stage & removed from the spectacle that we decided to check out the very best instead. three words: nighttime dance party. we boogied for a bit & they finished up with an actually slightly touching remix of michael jackson's "will you be there." the lips were still on, so we headed back to catch the end of their set. we got to hear "yoshimi" & "she don't use jelly" before they closed up with "do you realize?" as we left the park with the lips still playing, wayne coyne was still repeating, over & over again, the words "do you realize?" i don't think he realized the festival was over & it was time to go home. i hope somebody eventually told him.

#112 - fork n stick goose berry.
snack: the chicago diner corn dog
drink: goose island brewery 312 urban wheat



my eating strategy for the festival was essentially to eat beforehand & then subsist on beer & cigarettes all day long. classy. although there were a ton of vendors there, i only ended up getting food on the last day. my twice-tasted delicacy of choice that day was a corn dog from the chicago diner, who had a booth set up along the main strip of vendors. since the chicago diner's been "meat free since '83," it was one of them veggie-type corn dogs. side note: this girl also came from new york to eat both corn dogs & (weirdly coincidentally) the jerk seitan sandwich at earwax cafe in wicker park--my saturday pre-concert meal. i didn't even notice that i was being followed.

the veggie corn dogs...you can't go wrong with a corn dog, especially since it comes on a stick. these chicago diner dogs came on a spear, which was pretty cool, because after i finished sliding the corn dog into my mouth & sucking the remaining corn dog juices & batter from the spear, i could jab it into the ground to mark my territory. i spaced & forgot to add condiments the first time around, but wised up & lathered that dog up with a zig-zaggy line of ketchup the second time. mmm veggie corn dog.

goose island was the official brewer of the festival & when i approached the beer booth for the first time, i didn't realize that they had two kinds on tap--the i.p.a & the 312 urban wheat, so i asked for a "goose island." the women looked back at me with scorn & said "goose island is a brewery." oh really, lady? thanks for the enlightenment. since i'm all about tasty wheat beers, i opted for the 312 & stuck with it throughout the weekend, since i was scared of the other alcoholic choice--sparks.

goose island has been brewing for over twenty years & they put out a ton of tasty beers & sodas. the brewery's named for the only island in the chicago river & the 312 urban wheat is named for the downtown chicago area code. throughout the weekend, i gained immeasurable pleasure from asking for a "three-twelve" instead of a "three-one-two." oh the "oh dumb kid from some other place" looks i got for that. priceless. i'm sure they got that all weekend long, but them cats need to chill. i've got the 4-1-1 on the 3-1-2, yo & even if i didn't...no need to stress over it, chicago. i tell you what...if you promise not to stress over it, i promise i won't make fun of you when you come here & mispronounce "houston st." deal? deal.

nosh nook #95 - friday, july 24, 2009

hot dogs should carry a warning label, lawsuit says (link)
07.23.09 - los angeles times - by jerry hirsch

in the future! in the future, we will have a superbly super advanced society! the awesomeness of the whole thing will be totally awesome! life will be full of life. technology will become extremely technological. health advances will have advanced to a level where the average age will be somewhere around 120 & we'll have one thing to thank...labels pasted on to absolutely everything!

as the l.a. times reports, the cancer project, a vegan advocacy group, is suing hot dog makers to make them begin labeling their packages with the words "warning: consuming hot dogs and other processed meats increases the risk of cancer." um, what? apparently it's true, because neal barnard, president of the group, compares hot dogs to tobacco, arguing that "processed meats are linked to colon cancer."

the l.a. times isn't so sure. while the cancer project claims that studies show that nitrites play a role in the development of cancer, the times notes that "it's not clear whether it is because of the nitrites or other factors such as high fat content." regardless, it's ridiculous to be labeling everything. are we that dumb that we need labels on everything to know what's good & what's bad?

plus, it's like michael jacobson, executive director of the center for science in the public interest is quoted as saying, "the overuse of warnings can lead to 'warning fatigue.'" damn straight, mike. as far as i'm concerned, i'm already sick & tired of labels...but i've got time for one more. i label this whole effort "ridonkulous."

nosh nook #94 - thursday, july 23, 2009

united airlines expands choice menu meal, snack options (link)
07.22.09 - pr newswise

over the last week, i've had three opportunities to fly the wicked awesome skies of united airlines. only once did i have the opportunity to sample their food/drink service. the OJ with ice was nice & all, but there wasn't even an offer of food. granted, one leg only had fifty people or so (& a cute dog! right in the seat in front of me!), but i didn't even get a bag of crappy peanuts thrown my way. apparently under three hours = bev service only.

according to a press release issued yesterday, on august 1st, travelers on most united flights over two hours will be treated to the airline's new line of four "choice menu" snackboxes. the four choice menu choices--"active," "classic," "luxe" & "organic"-- replace the current "smartpack," "minimeal," "quickpick" & "rightbite" options. wow. thatsa lotta branding.

the press release doesn't really get into what these vague terms mean, but there are mentions of a blueberry muffin, gourmet deli plate & continental breakfast in the morn, roast beef, turkey & caprese sandwiches, a cheese tray & mediterranean, southwestern & chicken caesar salads the rest of the time. you can always get mixed berry yogurt parfaits, a la carte items & premium beverages including strawberry smoothies.

maybe if they'd hooked me up with some of that awesomeness, i wouldn't have cared about being delayed or canceled on every single leg of my journey. shit, they could've made me happy with 15-20 peanuts.