#111 - blue sky thinking.

to: eat!drink!snack! creative team
from: parowpyro.
re: summer promotional push!

hey team! eat!drink!snack! has been around for over a year now & i think it’s high time for us to take it to the next level, really start getting the word out there about our uniquely positioned snack blog. i believe that if we start doing some big picture stuff & develop a concept that we can all stand behind, something that really lets the masses know what we're all about, gets our message across to them, they'll check out the blog every free moment they have. it's about two different types of impressions, team--the one we make on the readers & the ones the blog gets, as measured by the almighty google.

here's the concept i have in mind: "eat!drink!snack! it's blue sky thinking." let me break it down for you. "eat!drink!snack!" because that's the name of the blog. "blue sky" because we're wide ranging. we focus on snacks & drinks in our pieces, but always leave the rest of the content up to our daily whims & ramblings & random stories. "thinking" because i think that the thinking man thinks & even the unthinking man eats & drinks & when he does, he often thinks, methinks.

i have a few initial ideas for the ad campaign. i'm just going to throw them out there, but you do what you can with them. that's why you're creative & i'm your overlord. we want to get one of those hip bands the kids like--preferably blue october or blues traveler or blue oyster cult--to record a song for radio & tv & online. maybe get them to do a surprise concert in the park. we'll partner with the toronto blue jays & the columbus blue jackets & get jet blue & amex blue as sponsors. we'll get vida blue as a spokesman & put up ads in the boston & chicago & d.c. subways--obviously on the blue line. to show that we care, we'll somehow tie in cleaning up the blue ridge parkway & saving the blue whale. the overall look will be TOTALLY ARTSY. i'm thinking something along the lines of derek jarman's blue or andy warhol's blue movie, with some music off of jandek's blue corpse.

with all that in place, i think we can solidly solidify ourselves as the #1 half-snack blog on the net. good luck, team. let's have a plan in place EOD tomorrow. i want to see major contributions from everyone. nothing less that 5000 percent! it's like rush's neil peart once wrote--"you don't get something for nothing. you can't have freedom for free. you won't get wise with the sleep still in your eyes, no matter what your dreams might be." LET'S THINK BIG, PEOPLE! EYES ON THE PRIZE!

regards,
parowpyro.

#111 - blue sky thinking.
snack: top crop blueberries
drink: blue point blueberry ale



last summer, i made no secret of my love for blueberries. love is a fickle fruit though, so i moved on from the blueberry within a matter of weeks, but like most relationships cut short too early, the love still lingered, so since i've been trying to rock the fresh fruit recently, i went back this past week & rekindled my love for the blueberries with a tub of top crop blueberries, grown locally in hammonton, nj. there's just something inherently satisfying & calming about eating a bowl of blueberries. they tend to last longer than other berries whilst walking the line between the sweetness of strawberry & the tartness of a raspberry. they're just plain & simple, middle-of-the-road blueberry joe, you know?

since i was eating a ton of them, i got curious about the science behind how they grow. the first fun fact i learned about them is that they're a "false berry" & a product of an "inferior ovary." you'd think that joke writes itself, but it turns out that it doesn't. while these ones are from jersey, a quarter of the u.s. blueberry crop comes for maine, who needs over 50K beehives just to pollinate the blueberry bushes. "maine. we're more than lobsters, steven king & torched topless coffee shops!"

a couple nights last week, i had myself a blue point blueberry ale along with a bowl of blueberries, in an attempt to create the most glaringly obvious snack-drink pairing ever.  blue point's been around for just over a decade & is brewed in patchogue, long island by the island's only microbrewery. i'm a fan of their toasted lager & hoptical illusion, but as for their blueberry ale, since i love blueberries & beer, i can't complain about it, but it isn't anything special.

my blue point is this: as long island's only microbrewery, they've got big shoes to fill. while they might please the masses with a so-so blueberry ale, they won't win any awards for fruitastiest beer. when you brew out of the same town that made a high school graduate of kevin connolly, E on hbo's entourage, you've got to reach higher than that. E would want more. E wouldn't settle for so-so. E would take that risk if he knew there was a chance it'd pay off. maybe they feel that since they're from strong island, they can't afford to be too fruity. if that's the case, all they need to do is look due south. fire island's right there, blue point brewery. it's ok to be too fruity.

nosh nook #93 - wednesday, july 22, 2009

space age snacks (link)
07.21.09 - the washington post - by jennifer larue huget

if you're one of those conspiracy-ignoring folks who believes that the moon landing actually happened & wasn't some staged event manufactured in a hollywood studio, then to you, this past monday marked the 40th anniversary of the day that apollo 11 & its three astronauts touched down on the moon's surface. since space is all wacky & stuff, for sustenance, those supposed astronauts supposedly brought along crazy astronaut foods specifically designed for the unique characteristics of space travel.

the washington post's jennifer larue huget is a moon landing believer who's pretty excited about the anniversary & as such, she's become nostalgic for space food sticks, "pencil-thin treats that (she) ate because, well, they were made for astronauts." unlike TANG, which was eventually adopted by NASA, the space sticks were developed by "pillsbury company food scientist howard bauman with the space program in mind" and "astronauts took the snack sticks (tucked into a special port on their helmets) along on EVAs (extravehicular activities) to 'munch on when hungry.'" with their ratio of protein, carbs & fats, they were basically "the original energy bar."

after realizing there was still a substantial demand for them, writer eric lefcowitz recently re-engineered the space sticks formula and revived the longed-for snack...so if you feel like playing pretend & acting like you're on the moon, just like the apollo 11 asronauts did forty years ago, you can head on over to the space snacks website & order up some magical space sticks. blast off!

nosh nook #92 - tuesday, july 21, 2009

a literal death by chocolate has new york personal injury lawyers hungry for more details (link)
07.20.09 - prweb

recently, the snack making business has been getting pretty darn dangerous.  back in early june, an explosion at the slim jam plant in garner, nc killed three workers and injured dozens of others. then, on june 8th at a camden, nj plant, a twenty-nine year old worker was killed when he fell into a vat of chocolate destined for hershey's. it turns out that the plant was operating legally.  lucky for the worker's family, not only is OSHA on the case, but the personal injury lawyers at the perecman firm are as well.

over the past 25 years, the perecman firm "has recovered millions of dollars for (their) clients."  in fact, david perecman has been named one of ny magazine's "best lawyers in america." prestige! to announce their involvement in the case, the firm has put a press release on pr web that features an amazingly puntastic headline with phrases like "death by chocolate" & "hungry for more details." not only are they successful, but they're able to take death & turn it on its head in a totally hilarious way!

my favorite part about the press release is the beaming photo of david perecman next to it.  your relative was maimed or killed in a horrible workplace accident?  nothing to worry about.  the perecman firm is on the case & they apparently couldn't be happier. why wouldn't they be? there's probably a lot of money & recognition coming their way if they win the case. hopefully david perecman can use that money to invest in more puns & keep his smile bright & shiny.

nosh nook #91 - monday, july 20, 2009

150-pound fudge-filled cupcake sets world record in minn. (link)
07.18.09 - usa today

take note, lovers of the largely overblown cupcake fad! if you've been feeling a bit down lately about the way that bacon has swooped in & stolen the trendy spotlight from your beloved cupcake, there's once again reason to hold your head high as this weekend, the cupcake stepped up its game & reasserted its fad food dominance in a largely overblown way.

according to usa today (america's source for colorful pie charts & awfully succinctly summarized new articles), this saturday, cakes.com unveiled a 151-pound fudge-filled cupcake at minnesota's disgustingly huge mall of america & in doing so, set the guinness record for the world's largest cupcake. the cupcake "weighed in at nearly 151 pounds, including 15 pounds of fudge filling and 60 pounds of yellow icing. it was one foot tall and two feet wide." finally, scientific advancements have made it possible to bake a cupcake that outweighs me.

in summary: "the world's largest cake-decoration supplier and marketer" (cakes.com) created the world's largest cupcake & unveiled it in the country's largest shopping mall. it's like a trifecta of gluttony! unfortunately for mall goers, since the cupcake was so large that only the top layer had frosting on it, none of them got to partake in its sweet opulence. instead, cakes.com gave away thousands of free cupcakes. who got to eat the world's largest cupcake? residents of a local soup kitchen? nope. it was "sent to a pig farm whose snouty residents specialize in the disposal of edible garbage." how amazingly appropriate...so much for feeding the hungry.

nosh nook #90 - friday, july 17, 2009

new pizza hut iphone app cuts out strenuous phone ordering (link)
07.16.09 - the inquisitr - kim lacapria

the wait is finally over! as i mentioned a few weeks back, the big pizza chains are getting all giddy about technology & as such, are developing viral campaigns, social networking tools & iphone apps, all designed to marry the wonders of technology with the excitement of ordering crappy pizza.  pizza hut is leading the iphone race with the release of their new iphone app, "ihut," which, according to their demo video, is "the killer app for your appetite." the boys in creative must've spent hours on that slogan.

i wanted to test out the app for myself, so yesterday, whilst sitting at the airport, i downloaded it & fired it on up.  for starters, to do anything but play the "pizza hut racer" game that's part of the app, you have to go to the pizza hut website & create an account.  it turns out that you can't even create an account from their mobile site, so my plan for ordering up a large pie with the works & having it delivered to gate C12 (isn't that an explosive?) were foiled.  i kicked ass at the racing game though...a time of 1:22 and only three collisions with pizza boxes, one with a pan pizza & another with a thing of wings.

luckily, kim lacapria of the inquisitr (can i buy an "o" please?) has put together a rundown of the ihut app's benefits.  it's mainly designed to let hutskateers virtually place orders via interactive options that allow you to resize pizzas, drag & drop toppings and sauce your wings with a shake of the iphone.  you can't go too far though.  as the pizza hut press release for the app explains, "if an overeager pizza customer adds too many toppings, the pizza explodes and toppings go flying across the screen with an alert to make their pizza happier with fewer toppings." how fun! on top of ordering & playing racing games, there's a "virtual fridge" with coupons on it, so you can pay less for your crappy pizza.  lacapria thinks it's nice & all, but notes that she's "a born and bred New Yorker- if someone didn’t swear at you while you ordered it, it ain’t a pizza, dude." for the record, in my eight years in nyc, i've never been sworn at whilst ordering a pizza...sounds like ms. lacapria brings out the worst in people.