#5 - hot chocolate.

oh to the days of summer, oh so fun. jacques heim & louis reard, i salute you wholeheartedly. today, i traveled to atlantic beach, out on long island, with a few folks, two of whom were basically from the area we were in, although it appears as if they were those working as cabana boys at the beaches & not those owning the houses on the beaches. since they were from the area, we went to a local deli-type place where all the sandwiches were named after the various beach clubs. i got the ocean club, with its chicken & craisins & feta & felt like quite the vip. i also picked up a snickers charged bar for later, not even considering that after three-and-a-half hours in the sun & a day that later led to a tube of aloe, said snickers bar would be a melted mess. i tried putting it in the fridge to turn it back into some sort of solid, but i just couldn't bring myself to eat it.

#5 - hot chocolate.
snack: snickers charged bar
drink: maxwell house french roast iced coffee

...so when i was later at the rite aid counter purchasing aforementioned aloe, i chose to give snickers charged a second life. later in the evening, at the stroke of midnight, i "settled down" for a tina fey/carrie underwood snl rerun (featuring mike huckabee) & what i like to call my "midnight special"--a candy bar infused with caffeine, taurine (not to be confused with chlorine), and b vitamins...paired with a cool, summer glass of iced coffee.

first off, this candy bar features a rhino on the packaging. right off the bat, that gets me pretty amped. rhinos mean two things--DANGEROUS & HUGE. i am expecting that upon consuming this candy bar, i will fly into a dangerously huge rhino-like rage, a rage not unlike one expected from the incredible hulk, who, btw, does not have an endorsement deal with snickers as of yet...snickers does, however, have an adventure bar!...& who likes the adventure bar? who? harrison ford, or possibly a character played by harrison ford, that's who. arti-FACTS! exotic spice! hint of coconut! with all its mars-based tie ins, you'd think i'd feel compelled to go see this movie about crystal skulls, but i haven't, because crystal skulls are totally fake & i apparently now hate anything that isn't steeped in realism. thanks a lot, survivor.

the best part about iced coffee is that it is coffee, but with ice in it.

seriously, check out the maxwell house website if you are so inclined. among its many features are a "smile report," a "which brew are you" function & a "good news" section. the current good news articles are "fourteen tips to avoid nagging," "red panda twins born at zoo" and "dog rescues drowning boy." can you guess the target market? i'll give you a hint...it's not me. i guess i should toss my remaining grounds & go to the starbucks across the street from my d.u.m.b.o. office & get me a bag of $11 sumatra/peru blend for what is probably a pretty good cause and/or tied to paul simon. target markets are funny.

#4 - drizzle fo shizzle.

i've been going through a bit of withdrawal lately, as, after almost a decade where tv shows were only a skew part of my life, i've recently fallen back in love with tv somewhat & run through the full offerings of the sopranos, the wire, lost, the 4400, dexter & weeds. with no episodes left of any of those shows, i reached out for mission hill over the past weeks, but it just didn't fill the void.

luckily, monday night was the season premiere of weeds. the season premiere of weeds seemed like it was somewhat of a snacking holiday by nature & as such, a few of us gathered at a friend's house, where we settled down around a table of snacks & watched the season premiere of weeds & the series premiere of secret diary of a call girl. boy does that show love sex. anyhow, on the table was a spread of super pretzels, nachos/cheese/salsa, bagel bites, market pantry (target) fruit snacks &...

#4 - drizzle fo shizzle.
snack: archer farms (target) chocolate drizzle indulgent snack mix
drink: harpoon summer beer

growing up, moms used to make large tupperwares full of homemade chex mix, way before chex mix had become just another of the seven million general mills products. the top level of her chex mix recipes was the chocolaty tasty one, with powdered sugar sprinkled on to boot, a pleasant change from the worcestershire sauce-laden version.

the archer farms brand chocolate drizzle indulgent snack mix comes close to mom's chocolate chex mix recipe, but with one slight addition to the recipe, an addition boldly mentioned on the front of the packaging..."& a kick of cayenne pepper." result = mmm.

harpoon, harpoon, harpoon...your summer beer is nothing special. overall, other than the harpoonfest, i'm not really sure why i thought your beers were so awesome at one point. yes, if given the choice between one of your beers & a bud light, i would choose you, but you don't really seem to be going out of your way to impress me. don't make me start talking about sam adams, a beer which i have a long-standing & currently smooth relationship with.

#3 - XTREME PROMOTION!!!

back in nh for the evening, i went for a quick drive with my mother down the street to the windham shaw's supermarket. growing up & until less than ten years ago, the area where the shaw's is was forest next to the commuter parking lot. now it is another version of the most well known new england grocery store with its organic/health food section & great deals & fresh produce tips & whatnot.

after perusing a number of aisles for snacks, we eventually ended up at the organic food section, where i picked up a bag of eden organic spicy pumpkin dry roasted seeds. each serving of these organic bad boys contains 16g of fat, but amongst that fat, there are oodles of omegas & poly & mono fats & junk of that nature..."good fats."

on top of this most spicy & healthy purchase, an end cap display caught my attention near the back of the store, a display that featured a snack that paired a certain swashbuckling doctor with a certain candy mainstay...

#3 - EXTREME PROMOTION!!!
snack: adventures of indiana jones mint crisp m&ms
drink: mountain dew voltage

over the years, i've really become more of a nuts man when it comes to m&ms, with almond emerging as my clear favorite amongst the flavors. even in the basic setup, where the candy display features only plain & peanut, peanut wins 99 out of 100 times.

there have been a number of m&m incarnations through the years & there have been a number of mint editions amongst these. these indiana jones mint ones bring a little crunch bar action into the mix & some of them are branded with cute little indiana jones symbols, like ones where the "m's" printed on the candy shell are wearing an indy hat or the evil ones, where the "m" is inside of a CRYSTAL SKULL! these ones are slightly spooky & probably haunted. as told by the legend on their website (which i highly recommend going to so that m&m/mars can claim higher click-thru rates & charge more $ for their online promotions)...

many centuries ago, mayan rulers discovered a minty snack so deliciously crispy that it was hidden in a secret room deep in an underground maze, never to be tasted again...until now.

SPOO. KEY. anyhow, i was always more of a star wars man, so i'm not going to see the movie anyhow...but i will listen to the theme song on constant loop as i type this post.

to wash down my m&ms, i went to the fridge, which my mother had stocked with two twelve packs of mountain dew for my soon-to-be-driving younger brother. the two flavors--voltage & revolution--are part of a promotion that plays off of the current presidential campaign by creating what is cleverly known as a DEWmocracy. get it? i went with voltage, since it seemed more amp'd & i like that in a soft drink.

the story behind the DEWmocracy is that fans of this pepsi beverage get to vote on their favorite of three brand new flavors (all of which contain ginseng, absolutely beloved by the kids these days). at the completion of the campaign (which comes in only 46 days as of today), the most voted-on flavor joins the mountain dew canon. this is all explained quite clearly on the website, which you should go to so that pepsi co can claim higher click-thru rates & charge more $ for their online promotions, etc...

another fun fact...more people will likely vote in this campaign than in the general election. right now, voltage is the clear front-runner in the race. it makes me feel good to have picked a beverage that, if this trend continues, will stand tall as the clear winner on august 1st...voting is totally EXTREME TO THE MAX!!!

#2 - 2am bacon, egg & cheese.

so i'm taking today off & heading up to boston/nh for the weekend. originally, my father was scheduled to retire from the usps at the end of may, so i was originally planning to head up to the parents' house in nh for the weekend, where we would celebrate his retirement (& father's day to boot)...two birds with one stone, as they say.

since formulating this original plan, my mother didn't like the idea of inviting a bunch of people to the house, where there is limited parking (meaning room for no more than 8-10 cars, which would have been fine, but whatever), my father pushed his retirement date back to the end of june & my brother's dog got ill & he's having to stay at home with her this weekend anyhow.

the result...i'm heading to boston right now to hang with chris leduc & megan jones et al this eve before heading to nh tomorrow to hang with the family, followed by a sunday afternoon dinner at my grandfather's house for father's day...a fine enough agenda all around. to boot, i'm testing out the bolt bus as we speak & BLOGGING ON THE GO, as bolt bus has wifi on board. suck on that, fung wah.

so that i could get to boston in the afternoon, i needed to catch the 11am bus & last night, with laundry to do, i found myself debating whether to stay up until about 3am (when said laundry would be done) or wake up early & do it before catching the bus. i chose to stay up until 3am...& of course i needed to run to the neighborhood 7-11 in between the wash & dry cycles.

the 7-11 is a fairly recent addition to the neighborhood, one of few chains in the lower park slope area & is only good for one thing: buying extremely unhealthy but extremely yummy snack foods at unreasonable hours..."7-11 foods to go" like asian spring rolls & tubular taco things. during one of my first trips there, i stumbled upon two new flavors of combos, available in 7oz bags...cheeseburger and bacon, egg & cheese. i tried cheeseburger on that visit & they taste like cheeseburger, but they are combos & as such, do not provide the same satisfaction as eating a cheeseburger. this time, as it was 2am, i was in more of a breakfast mood, so i went with...

#2 - 2am bacon, egg & cheese.

snack: combos bacon, egg & cheese cracker
drink: peach mango vitamin water

i like a lot of snack flavors. i've eaten utz crab chips. i've eaten herrs' heinz ketchup flavored chips. bacon, egg & cheese combos makes these chip flavors taste like what (i can only assume) the first glorious sip of breast milk must taste like to a newborn fresh from the womb. technically, it is not as bad as all that, but i believe the flavor of bacon, egg & cheese combos could kill a less experienced snacker.

as for the peach mango vitamin water, well...i drink a lot of vitamin water. we have it in the fridge at work. it is a great hangover cure when necessary. last night, i figured that since i was going to get five hours sleep, pre-sleep i would likely benefit from the rejuvenating effects of vitamin water. since 7-11 was out of yellow flavor, iced tea, red flavor #1, red flavor #2, lemonade & all the other ones i usually pick up, i went with the peach mango. i don't hate these fruits, but there's always something a little disconcerting about having to settle for your 7th or 8th choice. sure it was tasty enough, but the "vitamin" aspect of the water really let me down. i was still dragging tail come morning. endurance my ass.

#1 - icy hot.

for some time now, i've had this desire nagging at me to start up another blog, this time devoted to the incessant snacking that is my daily routine & after months & months, i guess i've finally succumb to the nagging.

when i say "desire," i mean that in the dysfunctional family that is my brain, there are two children--"desire" & "laziness." every night, when i get home, desire comes up to me all bright-eyed, tapping me on the right leg to get my attention & share with me the amazing songs she's heard that day, all the films she's seen, tales & experiences from her day--pretty inspiring stuff, actually. at the same time, on the left side of me, there's laziness, laid out on the floor watching another episode of two and a half men, asking me if i'm up for 10-15 games of scrabulous tonight.

...so i guess that recently & up until now, i've been watching a lot of two and a half men, so to speak. that jake is quite the scamp...& don't even get me started on uncle charlie!

here's the high-concept blog concept...stick with me:
each blog post will be devoted to one snack food item i consume that day & an accompanying drink item. the end.

#1 - icy hot.
snack: utz red hot flavored potato chips
drink: 4c lemon iced tea

these days, there's utz red hot powder flowing through my blood. for 99 cents i get a 4.25 oz bag of red hot goodness. on a number of occasions, i've eaten an entire bag in one evening, a consumption that nets me 600 calories & 72% of my rda of vitamin e. what do they taste like? they taste like red hot, that's what...except for when you get a crappy bag that doesn't have enough red hot flavor. those bags stink.

for me, 1st-4th grade was spent at golden brook elementary in windham, nh. the school was comprised of one long building, with each grade separated off into a "pod." each pod was comprised of that grades' classrooms laid out in a circular fashion, built with their front doors facing a central area. it was in this central area that they sold little bags of bachman potato chips to we hungry school children. it was in this central area that i experienced a series of snacking ups & downs, all centered around the ability to procure bachman red hot potato chips. this was always a daunting task because while there were plentiful bags of bbq or the barf-worthy plain "flavor," there was a limited supply of the red hot. on the days when i was lucky enough to get my hands on a bag, i was lucky enough to bask in the wonder that was firey mouth intensity.

years later, in college, i drank big plastic cups of 4c iced tea like they were water...went through jugs of that powdered stuff like a colombian drug lord. in fact, it became so integral to my existence, that...let's just say...i'm pretty sure it saved my life one day. well, that...& phish.

in the present day, i still consume pretty good amounts of iced tea--usually 4c but occasionally pathmark brand. to be sensible in my spending, i take ziploc bags of 4c iced tea powder to work with me & when i am thirsty, i get up from my desk & carry what looks like a baggie of brown cocaine across the office to the kitchen & with the aid of the water cooler...instant drink.