snackdown! - 7.25.11

happy monday everyone! it looks like the democrats & republicans down in d.c. haven't figured out what to do about the pesky debt ceiling. luckily, nfl owners & players have been able to get it together & agreed on a deal, meaning that there will be a football season come september. the only thing that could stop it now is if our elected officials can't reach an agreement about how to fix the debt issue & the economy goes spiraling into the ground, causing financial chaos that will result in the cancellation of the nfl season. that's right, americans. john boehner and/or harry reid want to take away your football.

it's been a week of chaos in the food world as well, with protests & recalls & insect addictions & life imitating art & a vegetarian lawsuit. are we going to hell in a handbasket? probably. will it be a tasty ride? probably. oh well...let's snackdown!

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#192 - tv will rot your brain.

did you know that ten out of ten doctors say that network television programming will rot your brain? it's true! if you watch one too many episodes of so you think you can dance, desperate housewives, bob's burgers & we fixed your house unfortunate individual all in the same week, the organic matter that is your brain will LITERALLY begin to decompose & ooze out of our your cranial orifices like chicken juice escaping from the bottom of a non-HEFTY garbage bag, rendering you a nasty individual. your friends will begin asking questions, leading with "what the hell's leaking out of your ear?" & all you'll be able to do is mumble incoherently because of your rapid, tv-induced brain decomposition.

that's why i take cablenol...

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#187 - new-fangled comedy.

excuse me sir! excuse me! do you like comedy? ok, good. well, i don't have any cheap tickets to a stand-up comedy act for you, but i do have a lil' comedic recommendation for yo ass. check this out: remember how you used to go out on fridays & hang out with other humans? yeah, well...scrap that. from now until the last friday in march, you should probably stay in on fridays...strictly for comedic reasons.

here's why...

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#172 - real talk.

maybe instead of constantly bashing jay leno & his insufferable chin, i should thank him for what he's done for late night TV--driven conan o'brien to TBS. after nine months away from late night, last night conan returned with andy richter once again at his side & the max weinberg seven swapped out for jimmy vivino & the basic cable band. the premiere took the top rating amongst late night shows, slightly beating out the tonight show with jay leno & i was one of the many who tuned in. as a service to you who may have missed the premiere, imma gonna break down what went down for you. of course, due to the wonders of technology, you can already watch the episode online, but wouldn't you much rather read my ramblings about it? after all, a thousand words is worth a bunch of pictures or something. i've got way more than a thousand words here.

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#169 - b.a.n.a.n.a.s.

remember that sweet ass tv show the banana splits? some of you may know the awesomeness i speak of, but for most of you eat!drink!snack! readers, who i assume skew heavily tween, you have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about. let me lay it out for you. there was this hanna-barbera variety show back in '68 & '69 called the banana splits that featured four animal characters (people dressed in sid & marty kroft-designed costumes) who were in a band called the banana splits. the show was part live action, part cartoons & part segments where the banana splits got into wacky situations & occasionally rocked out. when i was a kid, it was on in reruns & i ate that shizz up.

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