nosh nook #11 - monday, march 30, 2009

when we used to eat real crack seed (link)
03.29.09 - the honolulu advertiser - by lee cataluna

aloha. it turns out that in hawaii, there's a crack epidemic...a crack seed epidemic! if you're like me & have absolutely no idea what crack seed is, let's go over it together.  as it is, i could probably use a refresher. as best as i can tell, crack seed is a type of snack popular in hawaii, made up of fruits that have been preserved/dehydrated & cracked, leaving the flavorful seeds exposed. hawaiians even have a place called the "crack seed center" & it's been in business for over 40 years!  here is a random video of two children trying some crack seed.

so what's happened to the crack seed? as lee cataluna's article explains, it was once a popular hawaiian snack but has since faded from glory. the crack seed center doesn't even have that much crack seed. as she explains, crack seed is "a snack that requires the deliberate action of separating out sharp little pit shards with your tongue and frequently spitting them out."  that just sounds dangerous.  like smoking, no wonder it's not as popular as it used to be.

since this month marks the 50th anniversary of eisenhower signing the hawaii admission act into law, i guess it's about time that they finally give up the traditions they'd inherited from chinese immigrants centuries earlier in favor of our crappy american traditions.  mainland traditions.  none of that crazy island crack seed stuff.  americans love quick & easy, cheap & fast, pre-packaged foods.  if it's more complicated than a sunflower seed, it's not worth our precious american time.  aloha.

nosh nook #10 - friday, march 27, 2009

nothing wrong with some snacks between contractions (link)
03.26.09 - edmonton journal - AFP article

as a middle-aged male, i don't see myself giving birth any time soon (no vagigi!), but in the off-chance that i do happen to find a suitable mate & impregnate her with my seed, i'm actually pretty psyched about going through all the stuff that leads up to child birth--the doctor visits, the classes, communicating with the baby while said baby is still in the womb, changes in diet for aforementioned mate, all that good stuff.

if that day comes, i hope to be ready. thanks to the info i've gathered from this recent edmonton journal article (via the AFP), i know that it's ok for me to bring a satchel full of snacks into the delivery room & feed them to my mate whilst she gives birth to our child. according to the article, the british medical journal did a study with almost 2,500 mothers, giving half the group only water during childbirth & letting the other half snack away. doctors have often advised against eating during this time, but as the study showed, the results yielded "virtually no difference between the groups"...so snack away!

i can only assume that being able to have something to eat or drink during childbirth probably helps out immensely, especially during the long, drawn-out births. it's my hope that snack & drink companies realize the potential market they have here. people are giving birth pretty much non-stop all day long.

picture it...gatorade could have pregnant mothers hocking their sport drink. snickers could create hilarious "not going anywhere for a while" commercials that take place right in the delivery room. it'd be perfect! also, in both cases, the mothers must be ridiculously sweaty. that just makes sense.

nosh nook #9 - thursday, march 26, 2009

whitecaps' fifth third burger not for faint of heart (link)
03.25.09 - the grand rapids press - by michael zuidema

if there's one thing that minor league baseball teams like to do, it's do CAH-RAY-ZEE things to get people to come to games.my personal favorite minor league promotions include:

"awful night" (altoona curve) - a dead fish slingshot catch, a giveaway of the team's general manager's gall bladder & autographs with non-celebrities

"who wants to be a turkish millionaire" (nashua pride) - crowd members answer questions for one million turkish lira (back when that much used to be worth around a dollar)

"nobody night" (charleston riverdogs) - the owner shut the entire crowd out of the stadium until the fifth inning, when the game became official & the game attendance officially became 0.

now the west michigan whitecaps, a detroit tigers' affiliate, are garnering publicity because they're adding a 4,800-calorie ballpark snack to the menu--a five-patty burger with a bunch of other junk on it. this video, from the grand rapids press, does a great job of putting this treat in perspective:

as michael zuidema mentions in his piece, the team has, in the past, offered a number of awesome snack options at the ballpark--deep-fried twinkies, deep-fried pepsi (i don't even know how that'd work) & turkey drumsticks. i would so love to munch on a huge-ass turkey drumstick at a ball game. it'd be just like kind richard's faire, but with less jousting. bring it on brooklyn cyclones! medieval night! do it do it do it!

nosh nook #8 - wednesday, march 25, 2009

when economy sours, tootsie rolls soothe souls (link)
03.24.09 - new york times - by christine haughney

holy crap! did you hear that the world economy is totally in the shitter? it's true. everybody's getting bailouts. it's so bad that just the other day, the good people of aeg touring had to band together & create a bailout package for michael jackson. only took them a few hours to get that plan in action. all he has to do is play 50 shows at london's o2 arena. if he actually survives to the end, it'll set the record for the longest residency by one artist at one place. take that prince! pfft. 21 shows.

one area of the economy that doesn't need a bailout is the candy industry. they're doing just fine, thank you. you know how i know? because the ny times said so & they would never ever lie to me. according to christine haughney, who wrote the article, gives us a wide range of perspectives from candy store owners around the country. no matter who you ask, whether it's candyality in chicago or economy candy in the lower east side, things are as peachy as those yummy gummy peaches. people need their candy, y'all.

she goes on to note that the economic stability is also seen amongst the manufacturers & in fact, cadbury, nestle & hershey have all seen recent profit growth. thank god for that, because the last two are working with multiple billions of dollars in revenue & as we all know, companies of that size are just too big to fail.

nosh nook #7 - tuesday, march 24, 2009

pot noodle brings out doner kebab flavour (link)
03.23.09 - the daily telegraph - by harry wallop

british people eat some weird ass, exotic-sounding snacks & desserts. blood pudding? spotted dick? pot noodle? while the third one actually sounds rather tempting, it's actually just the name of a company that makes the british equivalent of ramen--a cheap, quick, salty snack for the lazy or broke.

now there's another crazy addition to the british food fold--doner kebab flavoured pot noodle. as harry wallop mentions, with this new creation, pot noodle has created a dish that combines the awesomeness of cheap, salty noodles with the flavour of "a late-night trip to the kebab shop." i can pretty much guarantee that you won't find lamb-kebab flavored anything in the u.s., but apparently lamb-kebab is much more prevalent in the u.k. anyway, the reviews in the article aren't very positive, so if you're in the u.k., eat at your own risk.

in the article, a representative for pot noodles describes their new creation as "the ultimate man food snack." if by that, he means that men are too lazy to cook anything substantial & would instead rather consume heated up noodles & dried meat pieces over an actual kebab, then they've accomplished their goal. crazy brits.