nosh nook #21 - monday, april 13, 2009

in tough times, restaurants try mini burgers to get a nibble (link)
04.12.09 - usa today - by bruce horovitz

mmm mmm mmm.  tiny burgers.  white castle built an empire on them.  joints such as the now-defunct burger joint (which specialized in tiny burgers) & other like-minded eateries have sprung up in nyc & other locales around the country.  hordes of hip restaurants & bars have added sliders (mini burgers) to their menus, adding a snacking option that's both cute & meaty, making it accessible to both the gals & the guys.  chicks dig cute & guys dig meaty, if you know what i mean.  trust me.

according to the article in usa today (america's favorite hotel newspaper!), the current fascination with mini burgers is a side product of the current economic downturn (tiny = inexpensive), but as the fast-food chains embrace the craze, "(t)hey're putting the best face on it by positioning minis as fun food."  it's true.  burger king has commercials for their minis where slightly uncool dudes, just by possessing bk burger shots, are flocked by hot chicks cooing because their burgers are soooooo cute & tiny & adorable!  yes, burger king has basically replaced babies with tiny burgers.  soylent green is people.

the article goes on to break down the various fast-food minis.  there are the aforementioned burger shots, which, according to the bk marketing chief "scream 'shareability.'"  jack in the box has mini burgers & is testing chicken versions.  mcdonalds has their previously covered mac snack wrap, now available beyond canada.  johnny rockets' mini versions sound the best...mini burgers, hot dogs & chili dogs, available with free chipotle sauce.  mmm.  mmm.  mmm.  free chipotle sauce.

nosh nook #20 - friday, april 10, 2009

the story of today’s nosh nook heavily involves the story behind today’s nosh nook. since some time yesterday, my apartment’s internet connection has been playing games with me. the modem has started taking its lah-di-dah friggin time before all of its lights start blinking in proper order. i could’ve watched at least an entire episode of clark & michael in the time it has been taking for the connection to properly settle down…that is, if clark & michael wasn’t only on the internet.

when the modem finally started blinking properly, it wasn’t really working properly. i was getting some dial-up like speeds & as a result of this awful connection, i couldn’t log into the ol blog account, which was bad news, considering i had this column unwritten & sitting in the queue, scheduled to post at 8am tomorrow. it would’ve been all “xxx” “xxx – xxx,” so i needed somebody to turn it off…so i calls my sister. she had a “being a doctor” interview wicked early & answered her phone from bed…so i calls my brother. he comes through for me & shuts it off. crisis averted.

…but i start thinking to myself “i wish this internet connection would work. i still need to let the internet know where to go in disparate areas spread throughout the u.s. for their easter egg hunting needs.” every so often, i would check on its status & nothing…but then, in what can only be described as a passover and/or easter miracle, my internet connection mustered enough strength to let me connect & poop out this blog post. i present to you a quick listing of easter egg hunt events around the country…we gotta start those kids hunting as early as possible. hunting for EGGS & CANDY!

easter egg hunt this saturday in fred / the silsbee bee / by gerry l. dickert (link) – from a town in southeast texas, two things that should not be combined: “the easter egg hunt is in fred.” “gerry l. dickert.” my mind is in the gutter.

hop to family easter events / the baltimore sun / by sophia terbush (link) – my favorite event on this list is “skate with the easter bunny” at the shake & bake family fun center. the item jokes “just hope the easter bunny doesn't fall on his cotton tail!” it’s in the upton area & based on what i’ve seen of west baltimore on the wire, that rabbit getting knocked on its ass is highly likely.

this new trend of easter egg drops sounds like trouble to me / WDEF news / by collins parker (link) – out of chattanooga, this article does a great job of covering the phenomena of dropping thousands of easter eggs from a helicopter down to waiting children below.

organizers set rules to keep easter egg hunts sunny side up / the dallas morning news / by katie fairbank (link) – some choice phrases about the physicality of the easter egg hunt…"the people charged like wild animals.” “they add new rules every year to try and keep the fields from becoming big mosh pits.” “in-your-face egg gathering.”  kick ass!

anyway, have a good weekend. happy hunting!

nosh nook #19 - thursday, april 9, 2009

men charged in heist of theater safe and snacks (link)
04.08.09 - the salem news (ma) - by julie manganis

beer, snacks stolen in service station break-in (link)
04.08.09 - the cedartown standard (ga) - by todd ollis

criminals often aren't the smartest people on earth. it's always been my thought that if you're going to go all the way & start stealing things, you should a) be smart enough to not get caught and b) be smart enough to steal something worth stealing. as is probably quite apparent, i'm a big fan of snacks. at the same time, snacks do not rank high enough on my list of wants/needs to warrant stealing to get them. after getting caught stealing kid n play's 2 hype during high school, i learned my lesson.

unfortunately, not everyone experiences my superior level of intelligence & since people are stealing stuff all the time, people are getting caught all the time. luckily, we have small town news to keep us up to date with those who commit what i like to call "snacktheivery." yesterday, both the salem news & cedartown standard reported on such incidents.

as julie manganis reports, in salem, mass, a man came up with a brilliant plan to hide inside a movie theater until it closed, sneak a friend in & try to make off with the safe and a basket of candy & soda. the two were caught when a security guard noticed them carrying the safe across the street. wicked smaht.

according to todd ollis' article, in cedartown, ga, police responded to a break-in at a local gas station, where someone had smashed the window & made off with two cases of beer & a bag of chex mix (valued at $21.19). it turns out that the criminal got cold feet & dumped the loot, which police later found. in another part of town, police were called to a local food store after surveillance tapes revealed that a man came in the store & left with “six steaks or items in his jacket.”  as press time, the suspect was still at large & likely full of beefy goodness.

nosh nook #18 - wednesday, april 8, 2009

kids who lack self-control more prone to obesity later (link)
04.07.09 - time magazine - by alice park

it's no secret that we americans aren't exactly known for our self-control.  we love hummer H2s & cocaine addictions & MST3K marathons & ten-digit spending projects.  we love overdoing it, and as a result of our lack of self-control, we now have a hole in the ozone layer & a super-high national debt & a rate of obesity somewhere around 30%.  it turns out that these gluttonous habits develop at an early age.

as time magazine's alice park reports, this week's archives of pediatrics & adolescent medicine contains two papers that show a corollation between self-restraint & obesity.  the first study, done at penn st, followed 1000 kids.  in it, they performed tests where a three-year old was left alone in a room with a totally awesome toy but told not to touch it.  if that kid made it 75 seconds without touching it, they were labeled as having high-self-control.  they performed a similar test on the kids at age five.  they left each one alone in a room with a large pile & a small pile of snacks & told them that they could eat from the small pile at any time, but if they waited until the experimenter returned, they could eat from the big pile.  if a kid could wait long enough & not eat from the small pile, they were again labeled as having high self-control.  by age 12, the ones who scored low on both tests were 30% heavier.  the 2nd study, done at the university of michigan, proved the same corollation with a similar, food-inclusive study--47% of kids scored low & these kids were 30% more likely to be overweight down the road.

based on what's reported in the time magazine article, i've determined that there's another, untapped angle to this study.  kids who have self-restraint mentally or physically beaten into them often snap once they reach adulthood.  these are the amish who don't join the fold post-rumspringa.  they're the people you knew in college who are away from home for the first time & therefore, must get wasted at every opportunity.  they're the people ultimately unconcerned with consequences...in the end, the restraint is often self-imposed & unnatural & it might just be human nature to want pleasurable things & want them right now.  too bad that when that comes to snacks, obesity's the tradeoff.

nosh nook #17 - tuesday, april 7, 2009

strange snacks of the world--chakli (link)
04.06.09 - the village voice - by sarah digregorio

there aren't a lot of things that i actually go to the village voice for any more, especially when it comes to their print edition, which i used to read religiously, cover-to-cover, every week whilst riding the subways. they're the alternative newspaper, but in recent times, they've tried too hard (the era of the kajillion gw bush covers) & let good writers go (see robert christgau) whilst continuing to let whiny-ass, one-tracked writers (see nat hentoff) continue to write.  thanks, new times/village voice media...doing great.

one thing i do stil enjoy about the voice is their "fork in the road" blog, which has a "strange snacks of the world" column. past columns have included avocado fries, pudding made with pig's blood & prawn cheese spread.  this monday's edition features the "chakli," which, as sarah digregorio describes, is a heavily-spiced, spiral-shaped cracker.  it sounds fairly tame snackwise, but probably tasty nonetheless.

in conclusion, it is my hope that by ridiculing the village voice but praising them for the one thing that is relevant to me becoming a food superstar, there will be a message from "fork in the road" sitting in my inbox within the next 24-48 hours, asking me to please come write about snacks.  i'll eat some weird shizz, village voice.  all youz gots ta do iz ax.