nosh nook #176 - monday, november 16, 2009

blogging moms wooed by food firms (link)
11.15.09 - l.a. times - by p.j. huffstutter & jerry hirsch

i have to admit. "food blogger" is a pretty sweet gig. since starting up eat!drink!snack! in the summer of 2008, the instant fame & celebrity that comes with being a food blogger has helped get me into countless hollywood premieres, backstage parties & supermodels' bedrooms. "oh yeah. eat!drink!snack! you're the guy who's obsessed with snacks, creates ridiculous themes around them & then writes about them all in lower-case letters. i read about you on the internet. come on in, sir. we've got a table with hookers & cristal waiting for you in the back." it's sort of like being a rock star, but with less coke-snorting talent required.

i thought i had it pretty sweet until i read about the l.a. times' article about all the perks that mommy bloggers receive. since moms are influential spenders & usually the target market for mommy bloggers, companies have been flying certain mommy bloggers around the country, introducing them to snacks & other mom-friendly products. in turn, they assume that the mommies will gush about their experiences on their blogs, essentially advertising for the companies. in response, the FTC recently set guidelines saying that starting on december 1st, bloggers have to disclose when companies give them free stuff or perks. thanks a lot, mommy bloggers. now i have to let the government know that doritos gave me a lifetime supply of cool ranch doritos in exchange for making them popular again via eat!drink!snack!

the times writes about one mommy blogger in particular, andrea deckard, who runs the mommy snacks blog. "earlier this year, frito-lay flew her to los angeles to meet celebrities such as model brooke burke and the spice girls' mel b, while pitching her on its latest snack ad campaign." on another occasion, nestle put her & a bunch of other mommy bloggers up in a sweet hotel in pasadena, wined & dined them & sent omaha steaks to their families. deckard notes that "people have accused (mommy bloggers) of being corporate shills," but added that "it's not like (she) sold (her) soul for a chocolate bar." that's true. you didn't sell your soul for a chocolate bar. you sold your integrity for a few trips to cali.

nosh nook #175 - friday, november 13, 2009

'jersey fresh' a mantra in school cafeterias (link)
11.12.09 - philly.com - by james osborne

are you "jersey fresh?" do you possess slicked, oily hair, a shirt half-unbuttoned & a general aura of douchebaggery? do you want to fight me and/or kick my ass? you sir, are jersey fresh. you have enormous hair, overwhelming perfume & orange, leathery skin and/or fake boobs? do your friends call you a "skank?" yeah? sounds like you're a jersey fresh lady, lady. are you stuck between a rock (nyc) & a hard place (philly)? does your turnpike smell funny down around exit 13? you're totally jersey fresh. get down with your mirrortastic bad self. please don't get mad at my depiction of you, jersey. i mock because i love.

according to philly.com, "jersey fresh" has recently become a mantra in school cafeterias. that mantra has nothing to do with AXE body spray & a longing to get laid down at the shore though. this mantra is all about jersey's tubby youth eating healthier. it's a trend in schools these days & if any state's trendy, it's jersey, so they're on board. philly.com's article focuses on one township in particular--cherry hill--where they're going nuts promoting locally grown fruits & veggies to their students. instead of letting them loose on bags of cheetos, they have to worry about students mobbing the fruit cart.

cherry hill's a suburb where the median family income's just under six figures, so i guess they're the perfect demographic for creating an anti-junk food program in the schools. the program puts an emphasis on being a locavore (or as osborne calls it-- "localvore") & gets kids pumped about all jersey-grown fruits & veggies. philly.com asked dittmar gagnon, a senior football player, what he thought about the changes. "i think I'm eating healthier now than in middle school. back then, it was all reheated tacos and other junk. just today, they added cherry tomatoes." cherry tomatoes! they have football players talking about cherry tomatoes! that's the sort of thing that's going to get the cougars crushed in next week's game against atlantic city. i'm not a gambling man, but i'd put money on it.

nosh nook #174 - thursday, november 12, 2009

school safety: 'zero tolerance' policies common sense? (link)
11.12.09 - abc news - by barbara pinto & devin dwyer

back in my day, when there was a fight at school, it was no big thing. a few punches would be thrown, teachers would eventually break it up & the participants would end up suspended or in detention the next day. nobody died or had an eye poked out? no big whoop. we're living in a different time now though. kids bring guns to school & shoot up the place & the buildings have metal detectors & as a result, a bunch of schools have adopted zero tolerance policies for violence in the school. you did some creative writing with a violent scene in it? who do you think you are? stephen king? time to visit the school psychiatrist, chester. welcome to the next millennium.

in chicago last thursday, administrators flexed their zero tolerance muscles when, after a food fight in the cafeteria, "more than two dozen students, ages 11 to 15, were rounded up by police, arrested and charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct." arrested? really? were they throwing knives too? abc news decided to take a look at the incident from the "are some punishments for kids too severe?" angle, wondering "why weren't the students just given detention?" zero tolerance, that's why.

cassandra russell, a thirteen-year old involved in the food fight, believes that the punishment was too severe. she told abc news that "they took us to jail, fingerprinted us, mugshotted us, or whatever, all because of a food fight...i was arrested. handcuffs on." you hear that? they mugshotted her or whatever. plus, she was suspended for three days. her mother was all "who does that? lock children up for throwing a carrot, a biscuit, milk, jello, who does that?" apparently the good people of perspectives charter middle school & the chicago p.d. do that. they don't take kindly to jello tossing. so yeah, it's a good thing that charles gibson took a bigger look at the issue. food fights should get more press. they friggin rule, or at least the ones where you don't end up in jail do.

nosh nook #173 - wednesday, november 11, 2009

'worst cooks In america': new reality show will try to whip them into shape (link)
11.11.09 - ny daily news - by gina salamone

there are a ton of seriously crappy cooks out there, people so unskilled that they ruin boiled water. on the same note, there are just as many crappy cooking shows on TV. i'm looking in your direction, hell's kitchen. do people actually enjoy watching an arrogant ass yell at people over & over again? most of the good stuff out there's on the food network. they're coming up on the sixteenth anniversary of their initial launch & over the last sixteen years, they've basically built the template for food-related TV programming with stuff like emeril live & iron chef america. since the next food network star has been such a big hit for them & top chef has worked out pretty well for bravo, they're going back to the well for another reality chef show.

the ny daily news reports that on january 3rd, the food network will launch worst cooks in america, a primetime show that will "aim to transform kitchen disasters into skilled chefs." it's yet another reality cooking show, but this time, it's with a completely new angle. the cooks can't cook! time to put them in a cooky situation! how about a "culinary boot camp" led by two special chefs? isn't that CAH-RAY-ZEE? the contestants are likely the kind of people that gordon ramsey would make fun of to their face in the meanest possible way. i'm hoping that the two hosts--a woman from nyc & a dude from arizona--won't do so much yelling. yelling is so FOX.

in closing, here are the ten things that i'm hoping the show does have:
#1 - life-saving fire extinguisher use
#2 - a sushi making competition
#3 - people crying about things like "my cake went flat" & "i never thought that a crazy food network boot camp would be so hard. they beat me with a spatula."
#4 - a bow-hunting/assault rifle deer hunt challenge
#5 - one two catfights
#6 - two one touching backstory
#7 - bundt/strudel
#8 - copious "boing" & "sad trumpet" sounds added in post
#9 - a guest appearance by ellen
#10 - an unapologetically gay guy, a sassy black woman, a stuck-up white chick & a cute but jerky frat boy

nosh nook #172 - tuesday, november 10, 2009

kraft makes hostile bid for cadbury (link)
11.9.09 - cnn money - by david goldman

back in september, i mentioned that kraft foods, america's largest & the world's second largest food & beverage company, was looking to buy cadbury, a british company that's the world's largest candy manufacturer. they offered cadbury $16.7 billion for their company, a figure that was significantly less than the $23 billion that mars payed for wrigley gum last year. cadbury was all "i do say, sir. your offer is quite insulting. QUITE. we advise you to kindly stick it where the sun does not shine." after that, a lot of people thought the deal might be dead.

yesterday, the deadline for cadbury to accept kraft's offer officially passed & kraft was all "screw you, we're going to take your company from you then." HOSTILE TAKEOVER BITCHEZ! as cnn money reports, kraft lowered their offer to $16.3 billion & brought it straight to the shareholders. sorry, management. roger carr, cadbury's chairman believes that "kraft's offer does not come remotely close to reflecting the true value of (his) company, and involves the unattractive prospect of the absorption of cadbury into a low growth conglomerate business model." oh snap, kraft! that brit called you a low-growth conglomerate!

kraft ceo irene rosenfeld has a different opinion on the matter. "we believe that our proposal offers the best immediate and long-term value for cadbury's shareholders and for the company itself compared with any other option currently available, including cadbury remaining independent." wow. you hear that, cadbury? are you going to sit there & let an american mock the feasibility of your independence like that all while lowering her offer? it's downright preposterous! i guess it's not all bad for you, since news of the hostile takeover made your stock rise while kraft's fell. too bad the stock market's a rollercoaster ride & your stock will probably be up & down more times than a manic depressive elevator operator by the week's end. but seriously, good luck with the hostile takeover.