snack away! #3 - juicy!

they say the only certainties in life are death and taxes, but I'd note that, in chicago, you might want to add winter weight gain to that list. The weather gets incredibly shitty in this town for long spans of time, sometimes stretching from november to may, and everyone who lives here is pretty much eastern european, irish, or black, which is to say, buried deep in our genetic code, our bodies are ready for famines and grossly inhumane treatment at the drop of a hat, so a predisposition to save some extra meat on our bones while we're, in essence, hibernating isn't a undesirable trait to have. but, add to that our historical reputation as hog butcher to the world, and, well, that's a recipe for a bunch of people opening their eyes come springtime, looking in the mirror, and saying, "holy shit, i got fat."

in an effort to stave off that uniquely disheartening realization this year when it's time to pull out the short skirts and tank tops, i've decided to embark on 30 days of what is known among raw foodists and other health conscious folks as a juice feast. basically, it means I won't eat any solid food for a month, subsisting solely on a gallon of fresh fruit and vegetable juices that i make at home each day. it's both less and more arduous than it sounds.

i did my first juice feast from mid-june to mid-july 2008, and it was an absolutely transformative experience. i lost about 13 pounds, my skin cleared up like i'd never seen it before, i gained a deeper awareness of my issues around "emotional eating," and i had the satisfaction of knowing i'd achieved a really slightly insane goal. it's obviously not a task to be undertaken lightly, or frequently for that matter, but nine months later i finally felt ready to give it another go and do some internal spring cleaning, as it were. today is day 17.

all of which is my way of explaining why this guest entry isn't going to look like the standard eat!drink!snack! posting that you've come to know and love--no booze, nothing purchased from a bodega, and, um, not much of a snack.

snack away! #3 - juicy!
guest blogger: allison felus, chicago, illinois

snack: 1 tablespoon of y.s. organic bee farms bee pollen
drink: 1 quart of celery/cucumber/spinach/apple juice + 1 tablespoon of spirulina

as i write this, i'm drinking a quart of freshly prepared celery/cucumber/spinach/apple juice. i would have absolutely balked at the idea of drinking something like this, and in such great quantities, just a few years ago, but now it's one of my favorite concoctions. other greens (like kale or dandelion) can have a strong, sharp taste that can be unpleasant to choke down in fresh vegetable juice, but spinach is light and almost sweet. the celery adds much needed organic sodium, the cucumber is light and hydrating, and the apple adds a happy little punch of natural sugar.

the tablespoon of spirulina is an optional add-in, but i've been craving it like mad lately. it turns whatever it touches a soft, wet shade of dark green and has a quickly addictive flavor that's kind of warm and buttery. (depending on how you're consuming it, it can be almost reminiscent of the oaty yet sugary dust found at the bottom of a box of cereal.) it's also one of the highest sources of complete protein found in nature, which is especially important for vegans (which i guess i kind of am--please don't hold it against me).

bee pollen is one of the few things that you're legitimately allowed to chew on during a juice feast, and, as such, i've come to really love my daily dose--as a break in the monotony of all that liquid, if nothing else. but it's also one of those trendy superfoods that everyone's always cooing about. each spoonful is packed with amino acids, enzymes, B12, and other scientifically proven microscopic yummies that our bodies need to keep humming along optimally but are so often absent in the nutritionally devalued food of the standard american diet. the taste varies from bottle to bottle--sometimes it's sharp and crunchy, sometimes soft and earthy. my current batch has a nice mild midrange, with a little bit of chalkiness to it, but an overall essence of, yes, honey that goes a long way toward quelling my usually insatiable sweet tooth.

see you in the sunshine, kittens!

allison felus blogs at wrestling entropy. she loves you just the way you are, except for when you're kind of being a jackass.

snack away! #2 - ol' dirty hippies.

as an under-the-radar american city, portland has quietly become the leader in a couple of important arenas. this quiet leadership will bring portland to the forefront of the coming economic recovery. you just watch. just don’t stare. like how watched water never boils, a stared-at city never booms. here is my evidence.

#1 we are green central - the democratic nominee for congress last year won on the platform (against a long-seated GOP incumbent) that he will bring the green revolution to washington and position oregon to be the leader in green technologies. just as the bay area blew up with the dot.com era, look for the pacific NW to be the next magnet for the young, educated, and socially conscious working class. portland is the anti-detroit and anything that’s made “greener” in the next decade (like…everything) will be based on technology created here. seems like “being green” somehow finally made it into the cliché pop culture lexicon in 2007/08 – well it’s been going on here since the hippies in the 60’s.

#2 we are hippie central - ...and some of them finally stopped dosing themselves long enough to develop some business sense. this has, in my mind, also put portland on the verge of becoming the nation’s leader in snacktacular deliciousness. that can only be good for economic stimulus and snack-related blogging, both of which we need more of.

exhibit A - is called cozmic charlie’s espresso, on the corner of 82nd & foster in SE portland. this entrepreneur has cleverly mixed his love for the grateful dead, his desire to make money, and portlanders' need for a 24/7 IV drip of coffee or the next best thing – a drive through espresso. cozmic charlie has recently turned a good idea into a cash cow by offering voodoo doughnuts at his coffee stand.

exhibit B - voodoo doughnuts is a portland legend for its proximity to popular downtown concert venues, "keep portland weird" attitude and crazy good (and some just crazy!) doughnut creations. “the magic is in the hole” the sign proudly boasts. who am i to argue? some of their offerings include the giant doobie-shaped portland trailblazer, cap’n crunch or cocoa puff crusted glazed doughnuts & the infamous bacon-maple log, which is just what it sounds like – a maple log topped with 2 strips of delicious crispy bacon.

once an obscure, late-night only hole-in-the-wall, voodoo was recently featured on anthony bourdain’s "no reservations" show on the travel channel and have expanded their open hours and started distributing doughnuts daily across the city. talk about economic stimulus! i visited cozmic charlie’s for coffee once in the last year or so since I first noticed it BVD (before voodoo). i’ve been there three times in the past two weeks PVD (post voodoo)!

it is only a matter of time before this concept of “save the planet, eat more snacks, and drink lots of beer” takes hold of our modern world and takes it to the next level. i think it’s the basis for the mysterious end-of-time upheaval in 2012 prophesied by the ancient mayans. just remember that the end of time is also the beginning of a new collective consciousness, an awareness of how our love for the environment, equality & proliferation of both sweet & salty snacks and ancient love for beer can create a blissful balance in our lives and continue to power our economy past this recession and into the next generation. portland will be the epicenter of it all.

snack away! #2 - ol' dirty hippies.
guest blogger: tom elkins, portland, oregon

snack: “old dirty bastard” voodoo doughnut
drink: “24 oz hell in a bucket” from cozmic charlie’s espresso

the old dirty bastard is a chocolate glazed doughnut rolled in oreo crumbles and drizzled with peanut butter. i guarantee that you will be rich if you can duplicate it in your hometown. you’ll at least impress your friends. the doughnut itself was average for a glazed doughnut - certainly no krispy kreme. however, crumbled oreos and PB drizzle take this doughnut to a place on the snack meter rarely attained by mortal junk food. the magic is indeed in the hole.

hell in a bucket is charlie’s clever grateful dead-inspired specialty at his drive through coffee shack. it’s 20 oz of coffee with 4 oz of espresso. he topped it off with organic half-and-half and three packets of raw sugar. if red bull gives you wings, hell in a bucket shoots you out of a cannon into a giant net in front hundreds of adoring fans. hooray for cozmic charlie. he’s dropped his antiestablishmentarianism and has found a delicious way to make a buck. i’ll keep coming back.

thanks for virtually visiting snacktown with me. i didn’t even get into the beer this time – reason #3 that portland is ready to R-O-C-K in the U-S-A! until next time…keep snacking!

tom elkins is an admitted snackaholic and lives in portland, OR with his pie-loving wife jennie and their two-year old marquez, who can’t get enough of blow-pops or sour gummy worms.

snack away! #1 - when in deutschland.

so! hello! how are you? i am very well, thank you for asking...or, as the locals might say here, sehr gut, danke! if you are slightly looney, or just plain stupid, or maybe your school lacked the funding for a foreign language department, that’s german! yes, i am in germany and i have agreed to discuss some of the local eats and drinks for this here bloggy-blog.

as many of you surely know, shawn and i go way back. back to approximately october 31, 1998, when i was a mere three weeks past the age of consent. shawn is six years my senior, and as the good elder he is, he took it upon himself to educate me thoroughly in the vast and glorious ways of the snack.

my memories of our time together are filled to the brim with images of 4-C iced tea, endless varieties of chex mix snack mix, and flipz, the chocolate-covered pretzel snack. it should come as little surprise to you to learn that i gained nearly twenty pounds while we dated. good times. no really, they were quite fun, despite my ever-growing ass and chin.

snack away! #1 - when in deutschland.
guest blogger: megan jones, hamburg, germany

snack: ja! kartoffel-snacks mit paprika-würzung
drink: tuborg pilsener

anyhooters…i am now here, in germany, and i am doing some very efficient german snacking. those germans are wicked efficient, for reals. i’m drinking a tuborg pilsener (TUBORG!!!) and munching on some ja! kartoffel-snacks mit paprika-würzung.

the beer is pretty decent. nothing special actually, but I sure do love the name. tuborg! and the picture of the dude on the front is priceless. he’s all thirsty and shit and doesn’t know where his bier is or something. it’s great.

i can’t find a link for my ja! kartoffel-snacks, which frankly surprises me, since ja! is apparently a huge company here. you can find ja! cheese, chips, milk, yogurt, toilet paper, and so on. it’s like the generic brand, i think. the price is just right for me and the quality is always good. i’m definitely a fan of ja! yes!

anyway, these are potato-snacks, with paprika spices and they are kind of weird. i can’t stop eating them, but that clearly means shit, because they are simultaneously making me slightly sick to my stomach. they are weirdly styrofoamy. pop one in your mouth and it starts to dissolve instantly. i have a theory. i think they, the ja! overlords, make some sort of like, potato puree, and then they squeeze it through some sort of thingamajig, and it squirts out these weird, airy potato nuggets. they bake them? or perhaps they fry them? shit, i have no idea.

either way, they then sprinkle on the paprika goodness. paprika is freakishly popular here and frankly, i’m already tired of it. i’d pay some serious euros for some old-school salt and vinegar chips--the kind that take your breath away because they are so vinegary. yum.

so yeah, that’s what i’m eating. now, back to your regularly scheduled blog.

megan jones lives in hamburg, but her heart is really in indiana boston albuquerque boston. she makes badass cakes. you best recognize, son.
www.flickr.com/photos/jonesgirlcreations