nosh nook #46 - monday, may 18, 2009

dallas couple finds jesus inside cheese snack (link)
05.16.09 - dallas/forth worth news 11 - by beth wagner

the best thing about finding jesus is that he's so omnipresent & everyone's done such a bang up job spreading his word that you can find him pretty much anywhere. these days, you don't even have to be in a church to find him. he's on t-shirts. he's on tv. as a dallas-area couple discovered, he's even in your afternoon snacks, just waiting for you to eat him. it's like the body of christ you get during mass but cheesier & less like styrofoam.

when the texas couple found a cheeto shaped like jesus, dallas reporter beth wagner just had to find out more about this miraculous discovery. as her hard-hitting journalism explains, one day, on the way out of town, dan bell went to the gas station & picked up a bag of cheetos. in his munching, he came across a particular cheeto that was shaped like jesus & decided to keep it, even naming it "cheesus." a word of advice to my friends & family--if i ever start collecting & naming my snacks (before later trying to sell them on ebay), please contact a doctor on my behalf.

my favorite part about wagner's story is where she speaks to the ubiquitousness of cheeto jesus--"various incarnations of cheesus have shown up before; in houston, missouri, and on the internet site youtube."  no way!  on the internet site youtube?!!!  i mean, houston & missouri make sense, maybe even a conan or ellen appearance, but i didn't think that cheesus would ever go on youtube!  that means they've really hit the big time!  congratulations internet website http backslash www youtube.com!  a word of advice to you regarding your new found fame...don't start worshipping the cheesus, because you'd totally be breaking a commandment if you did...number one, i believe.

nosh nook #13 - wednesday, april 1, 2009

cheetos goes big time with nationwide launch of giant cheetos snacks (link)
03.31.09 - via pr newswire

chester cheetah is quite possibly the hippest of all cartoon snack mascots. i mean, he doesn't smoke (on camera) like joe camel used to, but he has big sunglasses & a serious swagger & an insatiable hunger for cheetos brand cheese snacks. that's pretty cool in itself. plus, he's now the world's most recognizable cheetah & can do zero to sixty in under three seconds...it's just in the cheetah genetics. he's basically a comical celebrity porsche with fur.

this just in...hot off the pr newswire...chester cheetah now has big balls (of cheese) to munch on too! GIANT CHEETOS! according to the frito-lay created press release, chester himself had a hand in creating the giant cheetos:

"created by chester cheetah and the absurdly creative cheetos development team, giant cheetos provide the great cheesy taste consumers love, but are roughly the size of golf balls and stand as the perfect expression of the brand's playful personality. available nationwide in cheese and flamin' hot flavors, the brand anticipates the over-sized snack sensation to be a two-bite-per-cheesy-ball experience for the average consumer, while recognizing that more-evolved snackers, or 'big mouths,' will be able to enjoy them in a single chomp."

in the release, frito-lay also describes itself as "the most mischevious and playful snack brand." have you ever tried eating a golf ball? i have & it is not easy...but if mischievous ol frito lay is encouraging people to give their cheese snack the ol single chomp (as we big mouths call it), i estimate that the first giant cheetos-related choking death will occur before the year's end. maybe then chester cheetah will finally learn something from his "playful," reckless behavior.

side note: those frito-lay jerks totally have www.snacks.com.