#39 - it's a crazy cracker world.

as i sat down to write this blog entry, i went in not knowing exactly what i was going to write about. all i knew was that i had me a big glass of iced tea by my side & some hummus & crackers in the kitchen awaiting my consumption. to get warmed up, i decided to do a little research on my crackers, whose box was all the way over in the kitchen & whose exact name escaped me at that moment...so i searched for what i knew--"triscuit parmesan nabisco.com." about halfway down the list of searches, i came across the words "kraft - the tale of the magical crackers." as one who grew up in new hampshire, i couldn't help but be curious about magical crackers. i clicked through...& sidetrack! on the other end, i found a cracker wonderland mini-site, complete with:

the tale of the magical crackers
this is main attraction on the site. a guy named lester has brought you & a family of four to his attic to watch his magical cracker movie. once the internet catches up & the movie starts, it's all soothing narrator telling the magical story of one holiday season in cracker town. it starts with a knock on the door & on the other side, there's a giant ritz & his buddies giant wheat thin & giant triscuit! when i first saw these monstrous crackers, i was all "holy crap! those crackers are monstrous." then the soothing voice used the word "ginormous" to describe them & i stood corrected. these three ginormous crackers stay through the winter, magically regenerating over & over again, feeding the family when the dog pulls the turkey onto the floor at dinner & helping santa haul his ass up the roof on christmas eve when he's too tired to do it his damn self. at the end of the film, it is revealed that in a past year, a giant block of cheese showed up in town & then it is revealed that the narrator is actually the dog, the same dog who pulled the turkey onto the floor. i love surprise endings!

you can download this film onto your ipod!

snowball showdown
to play snowball showdown, you first create a character.

my character is a young black boy named "kickass kid." the backstory i created for him is that he is an outcast in the land of magical crackers. as you can sort of tell from the below image, others throw snowballs at him & attempt to destroy his giant cracker. assessment: life is not fun for the kickass kid of magical cracker town.

uncle lou's tale-o-matic
uncle lou likes to hang out in the shed, where he's created a very elaborate machine that spits out a lame mad lib that is nothing more than a written version of the "tale of the magical crackers" film. it appears that you should wear yellow gloves when operating the machine, probably because direct contact with it can result in terminal lameness. the only thing i like about uncle lou's creation is how it flags inappropriate words & makes you change them. it flagged the word "basement," but "attic" is completely acceptable...obviously.

seriously, nabisco. who approved the creation of this mini-site? carol from the steno pool?

#39 - it's a crazy cracker world.
snack: triscuit parmesan garlic thin crisps with athenos roasted red pepper hummus
drink: 4c red tea antioxidant/peach

these triscuit parmesan garlic thin crisps are pretty good. they're definitely better than regular triscuits, which are really only good if you top them with lots of cheese & dips & junk. these ones actually have flavor on their own. it's subtle, which makes sense, because if triscuits are anything, they're subtle...the hint of parmesan makes me wonder why all triscuits don't at least have some flavor.

regardless of their acceptable flavor level, i'm still dipping them in athenos roasted red pepper hummus. this stuff comes with chunks of red pepper & parsley bits sprinkled on the the surface, which looks quite fancy & makes you think that you might be eating something other than your average, everyday hummus...but you're not, really.

the 4c red tea is the final 4c iced tea flavor i've experienced & it is way too friggin' sweet, especially if you follow their recommended water/drink mix ratio. i mean, it's pretty good overall, but i really wish it wasn't so darn sweet. it's overwhelming & with every drink i take, i get an image of me brushing my teeth in my head. that can't be good.

#33 - cmj at 33.

the annual cmj music marathon returned to nyc this past week, with its thousands of music peeps & their badges & bands & occasional film/other art events taking over the city from tuesday to saturday.

my first cmj was back in 2005, when i was overseeing the advertising for ny press' music section & doing some writing for it as well. i had me a badge that allowed me entry to any venue in the city for any show. it was the year of clap your hands say yeah. remember them? for the shawn circa 05 curious, my blog ramblings about the 2005 cmj festival can be found here & my ny press ramblings can be found via here.

when cmj came back round the next year, i was no longer with ny press & badgeless. same deal in 2007. both years, i caught a show or two. this year, after being slightly anti-social & slightly broke & relatively concert-free for the past few months & after being inspired again about live music because of a couple of shows by the albertans in the weeks leading up to cmj, i decided to try making it to a few cmj events this year.

on tuesday night, i met up with a friend at the paste magazine party at the red bull space...gotta love indie rock shows sponsored like football stadiums. when i got to the door, i was asked for my name...a list. didn't know that, but talked my way in aided by the ny press sweatshirt i happened to be wearing. apparently, it made me look like press. missed gringo star but caught sets by wild light, cheeseburger and the vivian girls. turns out wild light is from nh. they were ok. through the years, i've seen cheeseburger more times than i can count, often at random parties & art galleries & crap & they're pretty much the same thing every time--bad-ass party rock riffs, a few tossed beers & guaranteed ass crack. the vivian girls were pretty much what i expected--quick, solid rock songs...probably better suited for a non-red bull inspired space. i will say one thing for paste magazine...they pull indie rock hotties.

on wednesday, i planned to head to gallery bar to see the stone throw records showcase, featuring arabian prince (yeah n.w.a.!), peanut butter wolf & madlib. before i even made it to the train to go to the show, i was warned of a three to four person deep line wrapping around the block. i'm way too old for that magnitude of a line. pass.

thursday night was a no-go due to other obligations.

on friday, i attended a shalloween party at the village lantern, on bleecker. everyone was so thin & had the most awesomest clothes & sunglasses! omg! it wasn't officially a cmj event, but i went there to see a concert by the missing teens, a band who i had heard much about but never seen live & whose live show is definitely interesting & whose songs are full of saucy lyrics.

on saturday afternoon, i was on tha intrawebz checking out the gothamist website. as part of cmj, gothamist had transformed the bell house (a sweet-looking venue that i had no idea existed although it's a mere 15 blocks north of my house near the gowanus canal) into "gothamist house." every day, they had 6-7 bands play from early in the afternoon to early in the evening, pretty much during the time i was doing things like working. i noticed that the saturday lineup included the forms, a band who had coincidentally been recommended to me by the sister of girlfriend of a friend a few days earlier, so i decided to make my way down there for their 6pm set. when i arrived at 6:05, the forms had either gone on early or decided not to play (boo), so i stuck around to watch the next performer, sharon van etten. she's your average singer songwriter type with some emotion most of the time (eh). she had to deal with a loud conversational girl at the bar stage left, so props for that. on the way out, i grabbed a schwag bag, all environmentally sound & donated by whole foods & containing a tin of embittermints.

so that was my 2008 cmj. on a totally unrelated note, i turn 34 in three weeks.

#33 - cmj at 33.
snack: sensible portions pizzetta italiano pita bites
drink: 4c white iced tea antioxidant blueberry flavor

so last night, i was pooped beyond belief from the week & stayed in my apartment for the most part, consuming everything that wasn't nailed down & watching the final episode of the first season of breaking bad (check out that link if you have a few moments & sound...oh & bryan cranston is so deserving of the emmy he won for best actor...sorry jon hamm). i finished off the rest of a box of sensible portions pizzetta italiano pita bites. they're pretty good with a weird & slightly pizzalike aftertaste & the box suggests putting cheese & cucumber slices & herbs & junk on them. whatever, rockefeller.

i also drank a ton of 4c white tea during the eve. as mentioned in my first ever blog entry, iced tea's been the beverage i've had the longest-standing relationship with & 4c's been the powdered iced tea of choice for a lot of it. in recent years, the powder flavors have branched out from the standard lemon fare to include flavors such as the white & red teas. i enjoy the white tea for the most part, although the sweetness can be a bit much at times. it also goes well with white wine. i've yet to try the red tea, as it goes for something like $7 a can. i'll get that some day, rockefeller.