the musical fruit: movement #3.

the musical fruit: movement #3.
song: "fee," phish (camden, nj - 07.06.09)
fruit: nectarine



as i'd mentioned a little while back, i rekindled the college years back in the beginning of june by going to back-to-back phish shows in mansfield, ma & camden, nj. the camden show was my favorite of the two, as they busted out a bunch of the old faves like "guyute," "lizards," "tweezer," & "wolfman's brother." after opening the show with "chalkdust torture," they moved on to "fee," the opening song on their first album, junta. as slightly shaky live footage from that night shows, phishheads went nuts when they broke into the song & went even more nuts when during the second verse, trey totally forgot the lyrics.

those lyrics tell the story of a weasel named fee ("a buddhist prodigy long past the age of maturity"), milly (the woman he loves, "a gospel singer with pocks on her face") & floyd (a chimpanzee who "was jealous and alone" & "wanted milly for his own"). as the story goes, floyd tracks fee & milly down on a ship, where they're on a "lover's trek." floyd goes after fee with a bottle & milly comes to fee's defense. her weapon, which she slams floyd in the face with...a nectarine. it's such a powerful nectarine that floyd is knocked over the edge of the ship & eventually plummets into the water, allowing fee to be "finally free." it's a touchingly joyous multianimal love story that phish has been telling for over twenty years now & i've been jamming to pretty regularly over the last two months.

tonight, in honor of fee's triumph, i'm having a nectarine for dessert. in the interest of full disclosure, i'm not the person you want to ask to pick a nectarine out of a fictional fruit lineup, especially if those who set up the lineup also toss a peach into the mix. in fact, during the fruit run where i procured tonight's nectarine, i also bought a peach. when it came time for nectarine snacking, the only way i could tell the difference was the tiny labels affixed to their respective skins. in the future, i'll just i have to recall that peaches have the furrier exterior of the two. as long as some other fun fact doesn't push that one out of my phish-rattled brain, it's all good.

once i'd cut up my nectarine & started popping slices into my mouth, my taste buds were all "oh c'mon. this is so a peach. it's got the pit, the yellow-orange fruit with stains around the pit--the whole shebang." this led to an interweb research tangent & the discovery that nectarines are actually a subset of the peach. well there you have it, reader. now that i know that, i feel much better about the whole thing. it means that i can eat one or the other despite the differences between their skins, because they're essentially the same on the inside. that's right...fruit tastiness isn't just skin-deep.

nosh nook #105 - friday, august 7, 2009

zoo pelican swallows cell phone (link)
08.06.09 - KIDK (CBS idaho falls) - by jennifer mcgraw

how may times has this happened to you? you're at the zoo, hanging out round the pelican tank hittin' up your bros/gal posse on the celly, trying to make plans to hit up the club & next thing you know, the pelicans have your phone & they're tossing it around like a pigskin. you're all "hey stupid pelicans, give me back my razr" & they're all "give it to squawky, he'll eat anything" & they do & that friggin pelican downs your phone all gluttonlike.

it can happen & as KIDK (the cbs affiliate outside of idaho falls) reports, it happened at idaho falls' tautphaus park zoo (please note the spelling, folks at KIDK. after all, it's your zoo). ooh! the tautphaus has asian bears on display! the bears are back, bitches! look how excited those bears are to be in idaho! as for the pelicans, squawky downed the phone, but luckily, he regurgitated it soon after. as of press time, nobody had stepped forward to claim the phone. um, idaho police, can't you just start dialing people & asking those who pick up if they know somebody dumb enough to lose their phone to a pelican? you'll figure out whose phone it is eventually.

nosh nook tip...you, the reader, don't actually have to read the story, because it's essentially a transcript of the video clip (below), sans witty comment at the end by KIDK newscaster/funnyman todd kunz..."that's uh. hard to swallow." good one, todd! according to the KIDK site, "todd and his wife met on a 'partially' blind date. have him explain that one sometime." luckily, he also "loves to hear from viewers, so feel free to email (him) at toddk@kidk.com." let me know what you hear about that blind date.

the musical fruit: movement #2.

the musical fruit: movement #2.
song: "killed by the boom," the veils
fruit: kiwifruit



wow. lord of the rings sure made new zealand look like the bestest place on the planet, huh? lush greenery, short people, creepy flightless birds...what's not to love about it? they also have flight of the conchords, but they're not really a real band really. as far as real bands go, the best i've heard from new zealand is the veils. they're fronted by finn andrews, a dude with a voice that alternates between sounding like jack white, nick cave, richard ashcroft (the verve), neil hannon (divine comedy), conor oberst, thom yorke & probably somebody else throughout their three albums. not pete doherty though, at least vocalwise.

...so the veils released their third album & first in two plus years, sun gangs, back at the beginning of april. the top track on it at the moment for me is "killed by the boom," the fourth track in. the veils' catalog contains a handful of poppier, loungier songs with humurously tragic lyrics, but this one's a rocker. the tragic lyrics are still intact. in fact, the chorus even contains the lyrics "oh no what a tragedy." andrews brings out his jack white voice & they do some serious rocking out, muse/queens of the stone age style. think lord of the rings, but with guitar. quality stuff. apparently they put on a good live show too. damn. i guess they just played around the friggin corner at bell house on monday night. ball = dropped. culprit = me.

in honor of these musical kiwis (well...two of them are kiwis at the moment), yesterday, i started my day with a kiwifruit for breakfast & had another as my last snack of the day...a kiwi kick in the ass & nightcap, respectively. i forgot just how good these hairy ass fruits are. they're sweet & tart all at once, with seeds & acceptable consistency & that different-colored center. you can basically eat the whole thing other than the fur, which is a definite bonus, especially if you're like me & enjoy picturing the kiwifruit screaming as you peel off its skin before eating the ENTIRE THING.

who makes the most kiwis worldwide? new zealand, right? nope. italy! take that kiwis! the mafia muscled in on your kiwi racket. how's #2 feel? anyway, the best part about the kiwifruit is that you can't even tell it's genetically related to a bird! crazy! doesn't taste like chicken in the least! what'll new zealand's fruit geneticists think of next? a treat called a "koalafruit?" i hope so! i can't bear to eat the mammal equivalent.

nosh nook #104 - thursday, august 6, 2009

we sell a bunch of junk, says whole foods boss john mackey (link)
08.05.09 - the guardian - by mark tran

isn't whole foods just the best? they're originally from good ol crunchy austin, tx & all socially conscious & green & organic & whatnot & just when you think they couldn't possibly get any damn healthier and/or righteous, they come along & surprise the living daylights out of you...& do so in a way that's totally all corporate missionlike.

as the guardian explains, whole foods CEO john mackey recently told the wall street journal that it's time for change at whole foods--"basically, we used to think it was enough just to sell healthy food, but we know it is not enough. we sell all kinds of candy. we sell a bunch of junk." as such, he says that they're going to launch "a healthy eating education initiative" & encourage employees to improve their own eating habits. wait a sec...whole foods sells junk food? really? actual junk food? as compared to what? whatever. as long as i can still get my thai peanut seitan jerky there, i don't give a crap what they do.

whole foods markets have been around for almost thirty years, but they've only been spreading their message of healthy eating to the u.k. for about two years. thus far, they haven't had the best of luck, as they've lost millions of pounds in revenue over the last year. regardless, since them brits are even more psyched about government health regulations than we are over there (& about guvment security cameras, for that matter), they're probably pretty psyched about the push for EVEN HEALTHIER products.

over here in nyc, there are six whole foods (all concentrated in manhattan) to help us eat healthy, but there's been a ton of recent flip flopping drama about them opening a new location in brooklyn over by gowanus canal. if it actually does get built, it'll just really be more of the same thing--a whole foods opening up in a neighborhood where they cater to people who can actually afford to eat healthy. yawn. until whole foods opens a store in the ghetto & helps the folks there eat healthier, them promising to make their stores EVEN HEALTHIER doesn't seem like that important of a change at all.

#116 - i dare you to date me.

ladies! let's you & i have a chat. dudes! lean back & pay attention. this is about ladies first & whatnot. maybe you could learn something. so ladies, who wants to enter into some sort of mate/partner in crime/random sex partner/ridiculous conversationalist arrangement? btw, sorry to exclaim at you like that at the opening. it's just that i'm a bit short & sometimes have trouble attracting attention, so i figured i'd give a "!" a shot. i'm actually fairly mild mannered, but have my moments if i don't feel weird around you. anyway, enough about me...let's hear about you, specifically what i'd like you to be like.

you: 5'6" or under, in possession of cool hair on top, flat shoes on bottom, random stories in your brain & a sense of nerd cool on your lips. you can pick a good beer & a good wine & a solid five-song string of jukebox awesomeness. you know why dan savage is just as cool as fred savage & why michael savage is ruining the good savage name. you'll remember that my favorite stuffed gorilla for much of childhood was named george, but he wasn't curious. when i've told you a story about that before, you'll have maybe listened the first time & will recognize which parts of my story have changed, but keep them to yourself & wonder what else i'm making up, because you're SUPER DEVIOUS...& you're so cute when you're being devious.

& you're so pretty when you're faithful to me, so since i'm a serial monogamist, if i'm paying attention to you, that's because you're pretty friggin awesome, so i'm only paying attention to you...something to keep in mind. why are you awesome? well, you're fine with the fact that you've hit 30, because you've got tons of time & you know so because you totally know stuff about genetics...although the future of social security sort of worries you. plus, you're cute, so f "age ruins cute." attitude helps. i seem to get along best with L.W.A. (ladies with attitude), so i might as well keep that streak alive until i get stabbed or something. heat of passion! bring on the attitude ladies. also, your making out & hand-holding skillz must be up to snuff. gross skinniness discouraged. food appreciation a must. wordperfect a plus. apply within. new yorkers preferred. those from other locales with ready access to travel also accepted. EOE.

me: 5'6" or under, mid-30s but looking (mostly) mid-20s. cougar bait. from NH with stints in boston. been in brooklyn since five months before 9-11, which, as the bumper sticker says, i will never forget. thought i was going to be a baseball player & then an architect & then a filmmaker & then around music. currently on the last one, but thinking of going into sexy international corporate espionage. ooh! you must be good at spying, but not on me, ladies. i want a house, a pet could be interesting, a kid might be cool. since we're both super smart, that kid'll have a good chance of curing or running something. before that happens though, i like traveling, but don't do it enough. you probably should want to escape to places as well. we'd go on adventures! i'm comfortable doing stuff by myself, but it'd be cooler with you, madame.

my favorite author is reinaldo arenas, although it's been a while since i've read him, so all his books have blended into one mess in my head. i haven't read a full book in almost two years probably. it's sort of a shame, but i watch & listen instead to get the stimuli. often, when we're out in large groups of people or even when we're alone, i'll be all quiet. it's all good. no need to freak, although since i'm asking for some attitude, i won't fault you for it entirely if you do. i just like watching people interact. i promise it's not creepy. not to get ahead of myself here, but if we hit it off & can manage to hold it together for a good enough period of time, i've always wanted a home sort of like my parents' place, 45 minutes from a major city, but with a ton of trees all over the place, something preferably with a cute downtown. date me! i dare you! you could also tell your friends or your sister or your sister's friends. i dare them too.

#116 - i dare you to date me.
snack: chevre du miel (goat's cheese), pitted dates & dare cracked pepper water crackers
drink: two brothers domaine dupage french style country ale



when we're having a night where we hate people (but are cool with each other, of course) we will sit in your/my apartment (yours if you have cable) & snack on chevre du miel (goat's cheese), pitted dates & dare cracked pepper water crackers. i'm doing it tonight whilst tangentially watching mister lonely, but it's just not the same without you here. you could be my missus lonely! oh! btw, i have netflix again. we could watch movies & break out some soft belgian goat cheese & slice off a piece for you & a piece for me & then we'd sit there with a knife each, watching breaking bad & doing crosswords & spreading cheese onto dates & dare all natural cracked pepper water crackers. it will be the classiest thing we'll do all week other than your friend's art opening, but i refuse to think of reading from the bible whilst naked as art, so that doesn't count.

you'll really like the goat cheese. you'll have to or i'll ask you to leave. it's got hints of honey mixed with products from the teat of a goat (chevre for the classy lassies) & like i mentioned, it comes from the same country as the guy who created the smurfs. you'll find that fact HILARIOUS. you might even have a coincidental t-shirt on hand that takes it to the next level. oh how we'll laugh about your t-shirt. we'll also dare each other to eat the crackers, but that'll end quickly when one of us takes the dare & soon after takes a header off a chair. then we'll laugh...limp & laugh.

we'll drink some beer along with it & it'll be two brothers domaine dupage french style country ale, since that's what i randomly drank a few nights ago & then blogged about today. it'll be how we first started dating, so it'll be memorable to the max, but in french. it'll be like a john cusack film, but with less big hair & more big boombox. you'll call me out on the fact that the beer's not really french. you'll mention that it's from warrenville, IL, in west chicago right near the fermi national accelerator lab. you'll explain to me what the fermi national accelerator lab is. i'll remember "protons." we'll laugh & both wonder where the cat is for a brief moment. then we'll laugh some more.

we'll finish our beers whilst washing down the cheesy date dares & you'll give the two brothers french style country ale a 7.3, but i'll give it a 7.7 just to feel like i'm in charge. we might as well make out by this point, because we're getting along pretty well & you're obviously everything that i'm looking for in a prospective mate/partner in crime/random sex partner/ridiculous conversationalist. do you feel the same?

if yes, let's definitely make out.
if maybe, we should probably make out to break the tie.
if no, we should probably make out anyhow.

who knows? what if one of us gets smooshed by a truck tomorrow & we never get to find out? seriously though, don't get smooshed by a truck tomorrow. you'd be dead & i'd be scarred for life through coincidence & nobody wants that...not even glenn beck. you think he's an ass too? we should definitely date.