nosh nook #161 - monday, october 26, 2009

wise hopes rock dudes will top cheesy cheetah (link)
10.25.09 - brandweek - by brian morrissey

hey totally radical dudes & dudettes! shawn here rapping at ya with a few tips that'll help make you the coolest guy or gal in school.

tip #1: get a skateboard. i was recently rapping with a few local teens about what drug-free things they like to do in their spare time & "skateboard with my buddies" was by far the top answer (even among the girls! LOL). from this, i deduce that it's a popular teen hobby, so save up the money from your paper route & get a skateboard. just make sure to wear a helmet when you're ollying!

tip #2: get the jonas brothers' latest album (if you don't have it already). they're the most popular band in the world right now. if you're a girl, other girls with think you're cool & want to talk to you. if you're a guy, girls will think you're cool & want to talk to you, although your conversation will likely be about the jonas brothers, so you should probably pick a favorite jo bro. i recommend joe. he's dreamy.

tip #3: get yourself some cheese puffs. cheese puffs are the pinnacle of cool snacking. chester cheetah, that totally cool, totally extreme cheetos mascot with the surfboard & snazzy sunglasses loves cheese puffs. if you want to be as tubular as him, you don't necessarily have to get cheetos. cheese doodles are cool too. according to brandweek, cheese doodles recently unveiled "a digital campaign to support 'cheez dudes,' a trio of rock-band mascots introduced in august as the faces of the cheez doodles snack brand." since they're in a band, you know they're cool. in turn, that makes cheese doodles cool.

tip #4: get money. money equals cool & the cheez dudes can help you solve your teen money troubles. as brandweek notes, on the cheetos website the cheez dudes are featured in a "augmented-reality game called 'rock the cheez' that invites players to create their own rock video by arranging printouts in front of their computer’s web cam." if your rock video is cool enough, you can win $1000! just imagine all the pimple cream & pokemon cards you can buy with that!

if you follow those four tips, i guarantee that you'll be the coolest guy or gal at your school this year hands down. if you follow the last two, the cheez dudes, wise snacks & the folks in marketing will be very grateful.

nosh nook #160 - friday, october 23, 2009

to complete your day, the windows 7 whopper (link)
10.22.09 - cnet - by scott stein

it's official, geek faces. yesterday, microsoft finally unleashed windows 7, their latest & greatest operating system, on the world. from what i've read, this time, rather than adding a bunch of useless, buggy crap to their new release, they focused on improving & streamlining what they had. that's right. as of yesterday, if you wanted to upgrade your pc's OS, all you had to do was hop on a torrent site & grab yourself a free copy. thanks, technology! we need to get excited people! this weekend, you should throw a windows 7 torrenting party to celebrate!

since they love new technology in japan, they're wicked excited about windows 7. according to cnet, to commemorate the release, japan's burger kings started selling "windows 7 whoppers" yesterday. the sandwich is seven patties & five inches tall & when they introduced it, it was "for a special price of 777 yen ($8.50); at least, for the first 30 customers." burger king's been known for pulling some slightly inappropro promo stunts over the last decade or so & this one has to be up there in the top three.

as cnet points out, it's interesting that they're pairing an OS "touted as 'leaner and meaner'" with a gut-busting sandwich. seriously, i don't see how anyone but kobaishi could eat this thing. as it is, a triple whopper has 1160 calories, so the windows 7 whopper has to be somewhere in the 2500 calorie range. that's like a whole day's worth of calories for a salary man. on a related note, the this is why you're fat book comes out next tuesday. i guess the windows 7 whopper won't be featured until their next book.

nosh nook #159 - thursday, october 22, 2009

pending approval, snyder's to acquire utz (link)
10.22.09 - york daily record - by sean adkins

one summer, when i was but a prepubescent boy, my family rented a caravan & drove down to hershey, PA to visit hershey park. we never did disney world or land, but we did do busch gardens (virginia) as part of a joint colonial williamsburg trip one summer & hershey another summer...deliciously fun. besides hershey, pennsylvania's home to some of the prominent snack food manufacturers. there's utz, which has been around since the harding administration. there's wise potato chips, which is surprisingly not owned by some food conglomerate. there are the two snyders--snyder of berlin & snyder's of hanover. twizzlers (now owned by hershey) & planters (now owned by kraft) both got their start there. snackwise, it's pretty much the best state.

as the york daily record reports, the big news in the PA snack world this week is that, pending FTC approval, two of the hanover businesses--utz & snyder's--are becoming one, as snyder has gobbled up utz. luckily for the town of hanover, carl e lee, jr (president/CEO of snyder's) "doesn't anticipate any job losses as a result of the sale." in fact, combining the two companies will "lead to additional sales and manufacturing jobs...as (they) grow both brands and expand the new company." one worker noted that it would help them better compete with frito-lay. i'm all for that.

at the moment, utz is primarily based on the east coast, but snyder's is a nationwide brand with four times more sales than utz & has been around for over a decade longer. i know all this because in the article, the york daily record does a darn good job of breaking down what the deal means for both companies & their workers. they even include a little "at a glance" segment at the end to reinforce the key points of the deal. from what they tell me, it looks like it's a good deal for all involved. anyway, some solid reporting there, mr adkins. snack on, hanover.

nosh nook #158 - wednesday, october 21, 2009

britney spears ditches junk food (link)
10.20.09 - metro

hey, did you know that britney spears is still relevant? apparently she is because she's been all over the gossip columns the past few days. unfortunately for her, it's because of the media's infatuation with her weight & not because of her music. i guess the upside is that this time it's because she's looking all skinny hot & not because she's put on a few pounds...& she's not shaving her head or going batshit crazy these days, so i guess that's good too.

the metro is just one of the many news outlets who decided to pick up a story about how britney's been down in mexico rocking the bikini bod. her secret? a change in diet. britney used to enjoy "feasting on fried chicken, mashed potato and frappuccinos but has now found a taste for low calorie fish." that's right, folks. britney has fallen in love with sushi & the results are apparently outstanding. according to the stylist from her latest music video, a song about threesomes, she was energetic & "even sang live with the words." good for her.

here's what i don't get though. she's been a mega-star for how long & she's just now discovering sushi? it's not as bad as madonna never trying pizza, but it's pretty surprising nonetheless. i guess she didn't have many opportunities to eat sushi growing up in louisiana, but doesn't she live in l.a. now? there are approximately one bazillion sushi joints there. hasn't she hung out with jeremy pivens at least once? oh well. at least she has control of her junk food habit. that's more than she can say for her "music."

nosh nook #157 - tuesday, october 20, 2009

a new coke? well, it's smaller (link)
10.19.09 - the washington post - by jane black

aren't tiny things TOTALLY THE BEST? babies? usually cuter than regular humans. pygmy pot bellied pigs? best pet ever. the mini me guy? one of the great actors of our time. frosted mini wheats? shit. do they even make non-mini wheats any more? it's just a fact of life. tinier = awesomer. trust me, nobody would have paid any attention to gary coleman if he was 6'2". it's indisputable. coca-cola's no dummy, so later this year, they're bringing their version of tiny to the world of soda.

the washington post reports that in december, coca-cola will be releasing 7.5 ounce cans of coke in nyc & d.c. before releasing them nationwide in march & rolling out 7.5 ounce versions of their other products. since we americans are a bunchy of fatties, it's coca-cola's way of helping us "manage (our) calorie intake while still enjoying the beverages (we) love," with only 90 calories per can. that's less than half the calories of a regular can of coke. btw, coca-cola, you can use that line in your ad campaigns if you like, free of charge from eat!drink!snack!

in addition to the tiny lil cans, coca-cola's doing a number of things to encourage healthy lifestyles among their consumers. just a few days ago, they "joined other food manufacturers to launch the healthy weight commitment foundation, which aims to educate parents, teachers and children about 'energy balance.'" i can see the literature now..."it's ok if your child drinks fifty cans of coke a day because they'll be so full of energy that they'll run those calories right off. sponsored by coca-cola." the day after setting up the foundation, coca-cola "announced a partnership with the american academy of family physicians 'to develop consumer education content on beverages and sweeteners.'" i remain skeptical about how genuine they are about people's health. maybe if they took HFCS out of their american beverages, i'd could start taking them seriously.