nosh nook #72 - tuesday, june 23, 2009

the cinema snack that gives you the snap, crackle and pop (link)
06.22.09 - the guardian - by ben child

ah, the cinema. for generations of horny teens & the like, it's represented an ideal place to simultaneously take in a flick & get in some serious make out time, often over a shared soda & tub of popcorn. the entire time, none of us realized the secret powers that lied within that tub of popcorn.

as the guardian's ben child explains, men's health (a bastion of scientific discovery only rivaled by maxim) has revealed an amazing discovery--popcorn also works as a sexual aid, improving blood flow & increasing sperm count.  it turns out that all along, popcorn has contained an amino acid called "arginine," which is apparently also a growth hormone.  looks like with the aid of popcorn, your wobbly bits won't be the only thing experiencing growth!

child's article also offers up some exciting teen-level information on popcorn--"popcorn was first discovered by native americans thousands of years ago, but became popular in the US as a moviegoing snack during the great depression." at this point, he really should've just tossed in the sentence "the native americans' word for corn is 'maize'" and called it a day, but he goes on to tie the history of popcorn to the current economic climate, all through the wonder of this men's health article. "it's somewhat fitting then," he writes, "that its status as a sexual supplement should be discovered during a new phase of financial travails."

...& he doesn't stop there.  oh no.  he has knowledge to share & a word count to hit.  did you know that "there are, in fact, a couple of other uses for popcorn: as a christmas decoration with string threaded through the middle?"  it's true.  another fun fact--"it has also been touted as a biodegradable alternative to polystyrene packing material."  all i can say is "thank you, ben...very good book report on native americans & popcorn. well researched."

#104 - meet my day.

wah wah wah! it's rainy! wah wah wah! my feet are wet! wah wah wah! my umbrella broke! wah wah wah! not again, mother nature! wah! let me update my facebook and/or twitter status to reflect my displeasure! wah!...etc. the city has been rainy rainy rainy lately lately lately. forecasts are for rain from now until the end of the first bobby jindal administration, so people need to be start being more accepting of the fact that we had big hair in the eighties & as a result, weather is going to be a disaster, natural or otherwise, for the unforeseeable future...that is, unless scientists figure out a way to alter it. until than happens, quit whining & go bend some wood for the ark...as the bible states in genesis 6:14, please make sure that it is gopher wood.  get thee to minnesota!

...so thursday night's post work entertainment was a nyc/brooklyn blogger's meetup at the bell house, a bar/venue located a few blocks from my apartment here in brooklyn. since i'm all about the networking, i reached out to one of my partners in crime, mike weber, and requested his presence at 8ish at said house of bells. it had basically stopped raining (reverse wah!) by the time i left my apt to head over, but five minutes into my walk, it started on up again. luckily, i'd just taken a shower (yes, for bloggers, an often unshowered bunch, i showered), so my hair was already slightly wet & nobody (but me) was the wiser.

since eat!drink!snack! has been a real thing for over a year now, it's high time i got into blatant marketing mode. i was going to buy a bag of assorted chocolates at the store & affix stickers with my logo, name & email to the back of each for handing out purposes (icebreaker!), but got as far as printing the stickers. it worked out ok though, as the rain kept a lot of people away, so i wouldn't have had much opportunity to give candy to strangers anyhow. regardless, i did get to finally meet the peeps from nachos ny, both lee & rachel (the girl who finally brought nachos to this blog by writing the most-read post in the history of eat!drink!snack!). they like nachos. it was another opportunity to see erica, from fuckedinparkslope, home to my weekly column for the last four plus months. i even got to have a short conversation with the guy who runs this bar sucks. he didn't seem to think that bell house sucks, so that was good. it turns out that kristin hersh (throwing muses) was playing in the back room. she pretty much rules, but i wasn't in the mood for a random show, so i passed.

after leaving the meetup, i headed home & put on music for men, the new (& fourth) album from the gossip. you can too! beth ditto (their singer) pretty much rules...way more than kristen hersh. i loved the last album. booty-shaking rock fo sho. this performance on letterman says it all. this is their first album with columbia records & it's produced by the famous/infamous rick rubin, so i'm assuming they're going to be responsible for one of your/our summer jams...especially since they now have a branding agency behind them (two or so page scrolls down). anyway, the new album definitely made my day.

#104 - meet my day.
snack: crunch 'n munch chocolate 'n caramel
drink: foster's



since i'd skipped dinner before heading over to bell house, when i got home, i was quantifiably ravenous. for those tallying the ravenousness at home, that quantity is 4.  please update your score cards accordingly. with dinner still some cooking away, i broke open a box of crunch 'n munch chocolate 'n caramel that was hanging out in my cabinet.  recently, it's been a snacktime fixture here in the abode, as a box of this delicacy goes for only $1.69 down at my fave bodega.  the only drawback...i'm freaked out about the health of my teeth & copious amounts of heftily-sugared corn syrup caramel & chocolate don't help my conscience.

...but the crunch 'n munch chocolate 'n caramel rocks my face.  it's a ton of extremely large, stuck together popcorn chunks, with peanuts stuck to the caramel ones.  when i eat it, the parts of my brain that crave salt & sugar join hands in a super-sexy slow dance...& then they head home to my stomach where they become one...& are burned with acid...in true love.

on my way home from the meetup, with a couple of $3 blogger special brooklyn lagers in me, i decided to stop by a bodega on the corner of 4th ave & 17th to pick up a beer. when i walked in, something was obviously different about the place. after heading to the coolers, picking out a foster's & bringing it to the counter, i figured out what the difference was...bulletproof glass enclosing the counter...awesome.  also, i got carded for buying a foster's...awesome.  it's australian for beer!...yeah...& beck's is german.

i got about half way through the mighty australian beer before i got tired & decided to cash in my chips so i could be a functioning human at work the next day.  foster's is a good beer if you're looking to get in a bunch of light beer drinking all from a single can.  as long as you're opting for economy & mock-exoticism over quality & flavor, you'll be fine with a foster's. if you're a beer snob who made a snap judgment whilst on a lightly-raining walk, you'll regret your decision in the morning...but it'll be friday & it'll end up being a good friday at that, so you won't care in the least.

#89 - sweet romance.

last night, i was doing the internet chat with a certain friend in germany & she was looking for a romantic comedy to watch. eventually, she settled on marley & me, starring jennifer aniston, owen wilson & a naughty dog. personally, the closest i get to watching romantic comedies are films with michael cera or seth rogen. today, to avoid the rain falling outside, i checked out nick & norah's infinite playlist, starring cera & the sometimes hot kat dennings & an infinite playlist. ellen page was nowhere to be found.

as a supporter of all things indie rock & skewly arrested development-related, going in, the film could've had michael cera sitting around in his apartment with any cute girl listening to british sea power for ninety minutes & it would have been fine with me. over the past few years, i've been a big believer in indie rock as a great catalyst for bringing people together, so i'm a fan of the film's "dorky love through indie rock" approach. the indie rockness starts right up in the opening shot, which features a merge records (happy 20th anniversary!) sticker & a poster for a show at nyc's bowery ballroom. during the night, they visit all the indie joints--bowery, arlene's grocery, union pool (or "brooklyn pool" in the film). the opening credits play over a devendra banhart song...& then later devendra has one line as a customer in a deli, where he assures norah that she'd know if she'd had an orgasm. creepy.

the film weaves two plots together. the first revolves around a group of high school seniors, including nick (cera) & norah (dennings), trying to find the locale of a secret show by the fictional band where's fluffy?  this plot provides the backdrop for the main plot--nick & norah shedding their exes & falling in love over the course of a single evening. they argue a bit & say nerdy things to each other & get excited about bands & he has a handiwipe handy for her & she calls him "her musical soul mate except for all the cure" and they fall in love. that's the best kind of love! anyway, i enjoyed the film. you should too.

a few items of note...

near the beginning of the film, nick's band, "the jerk offs" are playing a show in the l.e.s. opening for bishop allen. since this gig is at arlene's grocery, we can assume that nobody got paid.

there are a few random cameos--seth meyers (as half of a horny couple who mistakes nick's yugo for a cab), andy samberg (as a scary homeless dude) & kevin corrigan (as a guy at port authority with a turkey sandwich).

favorite line i can identify with #1: "...nicky is definitely worth the underwire. he just needs a little push is all."

favorite line i can identify with #2: "look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, the beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "i want to hold your hand." the first single. it's effing brilliant, right?... that's what everybody wants, nicky. they don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. they just want to hold your hand."

#89 - sweet romance.
snack: ike & sam's kickin' cayenne kettlecorn
drink: grown up soda dry cola


since nothing goes better with a movie than popcorn & a soda, i cracked open a bag of ike & sam's kickin' cayenne kettlecorn to munch on. it is hands down the best popcorn i've had this millennium. the individual pieces are fully popped & fluffy at times and at other times crunchy & sweet & salty all at once. the cayenne flavor's not too crazy, but it's there enough to give the popcorn a slight peppery taste, which goes well with the other prevailing taste, which is like a subtle, sweet caramel...not unlike every single character michael cera has ever played.

the popcorn's made by a company located down by avenue i here in brooklyn, which means i'm a selective locavore, right? it's trans fat & cholesterol free and made with only five ingredients--popcorn, corn oil, sugar, salt & cayenne pepper--which is an amazing feat given the wonderful taste. it's a good thing that it tastes as godlike as it does & that, as a result, i finished off the bag today, because it apparently expires on cinco de mayo.

tonight's beverage of choice is a grown up soda dry cola, made by a company based here in the city. even though i assume they don't have a bottling plant on 57th st, we'll call them local as well, especially since they've donated to both 826NYC & the madison square park conservancy. their cola's made with cola nut extract & like all their beverages is 100% natural, kosher & no-caffeine. no high fructose corn syrup in this bad boy...cane sugar all the way. i prefer the cane sugar sodas over the HFCS ones. it gives them a feel similar to that of fountain soda, even though it's bottled.

...so it turned out that my snack & drink choices tied in nicely with the film & just like with the film, they were both subtly sweet & not too "in my face."  when i was done with them, i felt satisfied & hopeful and the best part?  it was all done in a way that felt neither icky nor manufactured...how sickly perfect is that?

#84 - arrr.

so these past few weeks, just in time for baseball season, pirates are all over the news. unfortunately for the pittsburgh pirates, the news isn't about them, meaning that they're once again (see 2003, 2006 & 2007) playing second fiddle to some other pirates. this year, those some other pirates are affecting governmental policy. all the pittsburgh pirates are doing is fielding another mediocre team & trying to avoid being the first professional sports franchise to have a losing record 17 years in a row. roberto clemente is probably spinning in his grave over some of the chumps they field these days.

the pirates that have been receiving the most attention these days are the somali pirates who hijacked the maersk alabama, a denmark-owned ship, back on the 8th. those pirates created an international incident that eventually brought the u.s. into the picture & eventually led to the dramatic rescue of the captain, a new england resident. has he been on leno or the today show yet? as a result, hillary clinton has come up with an initiative to fight the pirates, although she did have this awkward moment regarding them...way to name drop morroco, hillary.

then today, out of sweden, four men from thepiratebay.org, a torrent site, were sentenced to a year in jail & fined a total of $3.6 million for facilitating illegal downloading & therefore, violating copyright law.  despite the ruling, the site is still up, there are tons of torrent sites all around the web & artists like nine inch nails are starting to turn to torrent sites to release music.  so yeah...the swedish courts hate interweb piracy.  btw, pirate bay founder gottfrid svartholm warg...sweet beard, dude.  the hipster grifter would love you!

meanwhile, the pittsburgh pirates are currently a perfectly average 5-5 team, but every single game that they've won has been started by one of two starting pitchers--26-year old paul maholm or soon-to-be 26-year old (on sunday!) zach duke. that means that the other three starting pitchers haven't even been good enough to win a single, solitary game. you can't win a world series with inconsistency like that. i mean really...the steelers just won the super bowl & the penguins are in the playoffs. does anybody in pittsburgh actually care about the pittsburgh pirates right now?

#84 - arrr.
snack: pirate's booty
drink: captain morgan's spiced rum & coca cola cherry


in honor of pirates, tonight's snack is obviously pirate's booty, which we all know is named after one of the pirate's alternate phrases for "salty wenches." what'd you think i was gonna eat to keep up with the pirate theme, fish heads or something? think again, buckaroo. i'm going for the pirate's booty. it's at least one hundred times better tasting & one hundred times better for you than fish heads.  also, the booty pieces are shaped like slightly curly, fat lil off-white worms & i love putting worms in my mouth.

so yeah, when i said that the booty is one hundred times tastier than fish heads, i meant it.  while i assume that fish heads taste like the ass end of a rhino, the booty at least has some flavor.  still, it's made with rice & that leads to a light, airy taste that is a little too subtle.  luckily, while it's ultimately unsatisfying for me, the cheesiness is tasty enough that i don't feel the need to go hijack anything to get my kicks.

if there's one thing that i know about pirates, it's that they truly love grog--a mixture of rum, water, lime juice & a bit of cane sugar. i however, don't so much care for hard alcohol & refuse to suffer for my art, so rather than attempt to suck down a cup of homemade grog, i'm mixing some captain morgan's spiced rum & coca cola cherry. i even added a few squirts of lime juice to ward off scurvy. no cane sugar though. that probably wouldn't go very well with all the high fructose corn syrup in my cherry coke.

holy crap! check out the captain morgan's website. there's a "morganette" greeting you on the home page. she has a sexy cop outfit on, which means you have to enter an over-21 birth date to enter the site. twelve-year olds take note. type in 12-25-25 & you're in like flynn. it's all good. you're 83 and interested in rum! the marketing team at captain morgan's will get a kick out of your contribution to that demographic...& when you're done, pirates won't be the only ones who love sexy cops. way to keep the kids out, captain! lockdown!

side note: is it a coincidence that two of the three morganettes have the same name as ex-girlfriends of mine?... & if it's not a coincidence, does that mean that i'm destined to be with someone named caitlyn?

#66 - what a re-tahd.

when i first heard about the how's your news? team (from a camp on the vineyard) a little ways back & saw the 1999 movie documenting their travels across the country, i wasn't sure what to think of the concept. essentially, you have a group of people, all disabled in some way, engaging in somewhat forced conversations with strangers. often, these conversations aren't even conversations, as the person being interviewed can't understand the interviewer or thinks that the interviewer can't understand them. somewhere in there, truths & awkward feelings are revealed.

since then, i've questioned intent & gone through skepticism & research & intrigue & enjoyment about the idea that they now have a show on mtv, who has been no stranger to exploitation over the years. in passing judgment, one could also argue that trey parker & matt stone make fun of disabled people (see south park's timmy & jimmy), but then one would be misinformed.

i've been around various disabled folks more frequently than usual in various situations over the past year & in applying that to how's your news, i can say that if you're watching & laughing & enjoying it because these peeps are having the time of their lives traveling the country with friends, getting to do the craziest stuff & interview celebrities & have A SHOW ON FRIGGIN MTV, then there is nothing wrong with it. i mean, it's more than i'm doing with myself these days. if you're laughing at them because you're a prick, well...there you have it. there's a name for you too.

exploitation? hell no. there is a show on mtv with a cast made up entirely of disabled people. maybe one day they'll afford the same luxury to an all muslim cast or hindu caste.

i watched the first four episodes the other night & the show is even better than the movie. some key moments:

los angeles (ep.1)
- sue interviews people on venice beach. a guy on a bike stops to be interviewed & the first question she asks him is "if you could change one thing about this country, what would it be?" his reply is, "i'd legalize marijuana." after that, everyone she talks to gets asked about legalizing marijuana.
- red carpet at the grammys! miley cyrus! boys against girls! plain white t's! the shins! the creepy dude from tool!

las vegas (ep. 2)
- jeremy goes to the mall with john stamos as his wingman to pick up chicks.
- ufc fighters! kroq festival! the rambo premiere!

austin (ep. 3)
- sue interviews gil mantera's party dream at sxsw & opens by saying "you guys aren't even ipod material." ha! it's funny cause it's true!
- the how's your news? band rocks sxsw for two shows. three of the dudes have williams syndrome which, from what i've read & seen, means badass musical ability.

new orleans (ep. 4)
- they have an oyster eating session with a guy claimed to hold some oyster eating record.
- they visit a pirate convention (now with more wenches!) & the louisiana state penitentiary for a rodeo (now with more bull!).

#66 - what a re-tahd.
snack: original juan's batch #114 jerk microwave popcorn
drink: sierra nevada bigfoot barleywine style ale / bar harbor blueberry ale

in honor of the how's your news? team's cross-country adventures, i settled in for the four episodes with a popcorn from the heartland & a beer from both coasts.

i finished the entire bag of original juan's batch #114 jerk microwave popcorn (from kansas) as i watched. it's somewhat spicy (the website lists it at "zesty (1,500-14,999 scoville units...their hottest product is 1.5MM scoville units)" & has a screamin' dude on the front. he's all THIS POPCORN IS SOOOOO DAMN SPICY I'M LOVIN IT MUTHAFUCKAH!!!!! then all the ladies get with him.

unlike jerky mcjerkjerk on the bag, i kept my composure but also found it to be moderately spicy & tasty & the jerk flavoring's well done. there are maybe 25 kernels left unpopped, so that is also a bonus...more popcorn for shawn!...also some 500 calories for shawn.

also, original juan's products are developed in micro-batches, ensuring goodness & whatnot. i can't wait to try their jerk nuts. the bag encourages me to have my "favorite cold drink in hand" to go with the jerkiness of the popcorn, so i started with a sierra nevada bigfoot barleywine style ale. as a beer style, the barleywine ale falls pretty low on my list, due to the bitterness, but sierra generally makes a good beer & i enjoyed this one enough.

then i cracked open a bottle of bar harbor blueberry ale. the beer is true to the claim on their website. it's a subtle blueberry flavor, which i'll take over the overpowering apricot of the magic hat #9 any day of the week. i preferred it to the sierra, which once again proves that the best is not in the west. hopefully that same principle will apply to upcoming how's your news? episodes as well, as they make their way back to the east coast...but only to justify the ending of this blog entry.