snackdown! - 7.4.11

aw snap! look who's back! it's america's former favorite weekly resource for random bits of snack & drink-related news, the snackdown! i apologize for going so long without providing you with the hard-hitting snack & drink news coverage you'd come to expect from eat!drink!snack! it's shameful. one week i'm telling you about mariel hemingway's new line of snacks & the next i'm in the wind. my bad. i assume you've already forgotten though, so let's move on & see what's been going on this week! hopefully something delicious tasty appetizing scrumptious non-puke inducing. let's snackdown!

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#162 - three months after...

new orleans seems like a hell of a city. i've never visited there myself, but from what i envision, it's unlike any other city in the nation, a city that thrives on its rich culture. it's got chill people, good music, good food & good times and regardless of whether things are good or bad, there's the city & people & the culture & those help keep folks going. the only person i know in new orleans--my good pal mike--relocated down there a little while back & he seems to be doing well. basically, he lives & works there, enjoys the nightlife & helps run "the NOLA defender," a pretty sweet culture & news site that covers the heart, mouth, mind & soul of new orleans. i guess it's legit, because they recently had an interview with richard dreyfuss. but yeah...i think i could get to like new orleans.

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#139 - documenting genius.

since i'm a genius myself, i feel like i'm qualified to say that the best part about being one is that if you end up going off the rails at some point, there's a good chance that folks will just chalk it up to you being an eccentric, madcap intellectual & just let you be your babbling, holes-in-your-shoes self. my favorite type of insane genius is the mad, musical type, so over the past week i checked out two films that document the lives of two such geniuses--wesley willis & lil wayne.

the first film--wesley willis's joy rides--came out on dvd last week & to mark its release, pitchfork had it available for viewing all last week, so i checked it out. the film gives us a glimpse into the life of wesley willis, the late artist from chicago. willis, who was known as much for being a for being a 300-pound schizophrenic as he was for being a prolific artist, released hundreds of songs in his lifetime. they're all simple pop songs with simple, humorous & sometimes obscene lyrics that almost always end with a company's tagline. there's "northwest airlines," which ends with "american airlines. we mean business in chicago." there's "oprah winfrey," which ends with "johnny rockets. it's the original hamburger." there's his biggest hit--"rock n roll mcdonald's"--which ends with "wheaties. breakfast of champions." obviously.

in addition to his musical output, willis also did countless ink pen drawings of chicago as he saw it, usually in extremely intricate detail. the filmmakers speak with him a lot & it's obvious that he was troubled, consumed by demonic voices that "shouted profanity at him" & as he described it, took him on "hellrides." still, until he died of complications from leukemia, he was known as a jovial guy & a prolific artist & the film does a great job of capturing both that & his mental troubles.

the second film--the carter--came out on dvd a few weeks back. it follows lil wayne around during the time that his last album (the carter III) was released & is directed by adam bhala lough, whose 2002 film bomb the system focused on nyc graffiti & won some festival acclaim. he does a good enough job telling the story of lil wayne. i'm only familiar with wayne based on his prolific output over the last few years & although i like what i've heard, i've never been able to understand what all the hype was about. it was that sense of "seriously...why is this guy so huge?" that made the carter an interesting film for me.

from what i've heard of his music, his beats are kind of boring, but the dude has a ridiculously intelligent lyrical vocabulary & carries a recording setup with him wherever he goes. from what i've heard of his lifestyle, dude's smoking blunts & rapping 24-7 & artists who are never sober but still manage to be both good & prolific intrigue me. the film opens with a disclaimer that lil wayne refused to do a proper interview, but regardless, after 90 minutes of seeing him in hotel rooms & on the bus, i was left with the feeling that he really thinks that he's the best rapper alive & until somebody else puts as much passion into rapping as he does, i'm not going to argue with him or fault him for smoking blunts 24-7.

so why did i enjoy these two films so much? it's largely because i'm obsessed with music & a lot of what i enjoy is made by mad musical geniuses. although the documentary i recently watched about him was totally boring, pink floyd's syd barrett & his descent into LSD insanity both make me sad & curious. when i watched the devil & daniel johnston, i was more interested in why daniel johnston has become a disturbed cult musician than in his music. artists are generally off by nature & when i get to see what makes them tick, i can't help but think that if they were "normal," it just wouldn't be the same.

#139 - documenting genius.
snack: mcdonald's grilled chipotle bbq snack wrap
drink: dixie blackened voodoo lager



in honor of the late wesley willis & his undying love for rock n roll mcdonalds, tonight i'm snacking on a mcdonald's grilled chipotle bbq snack wrap. since wesley died in 2003 & the snack wrap wasn't introduced until 2006, he never got to sample the wonder of the mcdonald's snack wrap, but i'm sure he would've wrote a sweet song about it if he'd had the chance. it'd be all like "mcdonalds snack wrap. you are healthy to the max. i like to eat you. you go good with the rock" with his signature keyboards behind it. it'd be way better than any song mcdonald's has ever used in any of their ads.

the grilled chipotle bbq snack wrap...as a snack, it's aight. i've eaten a ton of them in my day & if i had to choose a favorite snack wrap, the grilled chipotle bbq one would definitely win. since it's built back on the mcdonald's assembly line, it never comes out looking as awesome as it looks in their ads & signage, but they slather it in bbq sauce & i can easily be distracted by the right amount of bbq sauce. on top of that, they put it in a wrap. if you've been following the trends of the past decade, you know that that means that it's exponentially healthier. as far as chicken goes, the meat's pretty white & essentially acceptable, although i just saw food inc this past weekend & i'm pretty sure that the chickens that gave their lives to make my snack wrap didn't enjoy a life of struttin' in the meadow.

to pay tribute to lil wayne, i'm washing down the snack wrap with a bottle of new orleans' own dixie blackened voodoo lager. i was planning on trying out drank, the "relaxation beverage" that helps you "slow your roll" & is named after the cough syrup & soda concoction popularized by rappers like lil wayne. i stopped into hundreds of bodegas & corner stores over the past week trying to locate a can of the stuff to no avail, so i picked up a bottle of the blackened voodoo instead. it's made by the dixie brewing co, a brewery that has been around for just over a hundred years but is in bad shape these days because of what katrina & the successive looting did to the brewery. apparently their website got looted too.

i first tried the blackened voodoo just after college, when i was living with this guy named dave who was a mad genius in his own right & one of the first people i knew who picked up six packs of good beer. at the time, i was more of a "twelve-pack of red dog" sort of guy, but dave would occasionally come home with six packs of stuff like the blackened voodoo & offer a few up while we sat around & talked about the mysteries of bog butter. i remembered the blackened voodoo being a lot darker & blacker, but it's actually a dark brown sort of color & is smoother than i remembered. i'm probably just remembering it that way because i like to think that my past was darker than it actually was though. after all...a dark past is a sign of a true genius.

#137 - you down with ODB?

i'm not sure how many of you are aware of this, but in order to enter the wu-tang, you must bring the ol' dirty bastard type slang. it's true. ODB said so on "da mystery of chessboxin'," off the wu-tang clan's debut album enter the wu-tang (36 chambers). if you're looking to bring the ol' dirty bastard type slang, all you have to do is put some marbles in your mouth & go on an offbeat, occasionally sung rant. the rest will take care of itself. ODB, who died of a drug overdose back in november of 2004, would have been 41 this past sunday. in honor of his birthday, i spent a good part of the day hanging out at my apartment whilst blasting his two solo albums from my tiny apple speakers & doing a bunch of head boppin'.

his 1995 debut album, return to the 36 chambers: the dirty version, is my favorite of the two, with tracks like "shimmy shimmy ya" & "brooklyn zoo." on it, you get a bounty of half-sung, half-rapped lyrics like "cause I create rhymes good as a tasty cake." there's even a song with him singing the chorus to "somewhere over the rainbow." obviously. over four years later, he released his second album, nigga please, with plain white album art featuring nothing but a photo of him jheri-curled up like rick james. it's a funkier album at times & features two neptunes' produced tracks. the first is a sweet cover of rick james' "cold blooded," which is perfect for ODB, who loves to get to warblin' every once in a while. the second is "got your money," which was the album's only single & also helped introduce the world to kelis, who we've since forgotten about.

by that second album, he was getting into a lot of good ol fashion trouble, which led to the four year wait between albums. we're talking arrests, gunshot wounds, drug possession, life as a fugitive, jail time...all that good stuff. in 97, he took a limo to the welfare office to pick up his check, all while an mtv crew filmed him. remember the 1998 grammy awards, when he took the mic before shawn colvin gave her acceptance speech, rambled for a bit & declared that "wu-tang is for the children?" that was awesome. it was like my generation's "imma let you finish." that was around the same time when he starting calling himself "big baby jesus," just one of many pseudonyms he used over the years. so yeah, his rapping was epic but his behavior was too...sad but entertaining.

his legacy lives on. this past tuesday, a new, posthumous ODB album entitled message to the other side (osirus part 1) came out on money maker entertainment. the record was created from the wu-tang vaults & features a ton of guests, including the RZA on a quarter of the tracks. it even comes with a bonus DVD. i'm extremely skeptical of posthumous albums. they're often culled together from existing material, which is often sparse. plus, i'm of the opinion that wu-tang productions have declined in quality over the years, so there's a good chance that the album could be absolutely awful. hopefully it's not though. ODB doesn't need some lame posthumous album sullying his reputation like that.

#137 - you down with ODB?
snack: dirty chips funky fusion flavor
drink: arrogant bastard ale



since sunday was ODB day, i chose to snack on a bag of funky fusion flavor dirty chips while i listened to his albums. the funky fusion flavor's one of a few new flavors that dirty chips just put out (along with smoky chipolte & pesto parmesan). according to their website, which appears to have been designed some time back in the nineties, the funky fusion flavor "defies description! a little sour, no, a little sweet, no, a little salty, no, a little creamy, no, a little tangy, no........just enjoy!" dear dirty chips. your use of punctuation is too radical even for my tastes. NINE commas in one sentence? what is that? a triple ellipsis? seriously though, unless the owner has a thirteen-year old daughter & she's writing copy for the website, you should probably watch it with the punctuation. thanks.

since i'm a professional, despite dirty chips' claim that they defy description, i'm going to attempt to describe them. i figure it's the least i can do, so here goes: they taste sort of like a spring roll from a thai restaurant. see? that wasn't so hard. they definitely have an asian flavor to them & in classic dirty chips style, that flavor is in abundance. there's a lot going on with them. it's like an EXPLOSION of funky fusion. as for the texture, you can't beat the crunch of a dirty chip. still, even though they're kettle cooked & all natural, they're slightly greasy & full of a bunch of fat & sodium. health concerns aside, i definitely enjoyed them though.

to complete sunday's ODB tribute, i had a 22 oz bottle of arrogant bastard ale along with the funky dirty chips. the arrogant bastard's made by stone brewing co., who brews out of sunny san diego. a little known fact about san diego (home of the padres & ron burgundy): discovered by the germans in 1904, they named it san diego, which of course in german means a whale's vagina. i guess that the devilish dude on the front of the bottle is the arrogant bastard. he's kind of a lil bitch. in order to access his website, in addition to certifying that you're 21, you have to certify that you're "not a fizzy yellow beer drinking ninny here under false pretenses." according to the front of the bottle, i'm not worthy of drinking it. screw you arrogant bastard devil mascot. you don't know me.

the arrogant bastard's beer is decidedly less arrogant than his website & bottle. the ale pours with a dark reddish-orange color & a rich, hoppy smell. with the abundance of hops & all the bastard's talk about arrogance, i was expecting a harsh taste, but it's actually pretty smooth & drinkable & it's definitely something that i'm going to return to in the future. i'm pretty sure it's not something ODB would have drank, but i wasn't really in the mood for a 40 oz of old english this weekend. forty ounces are more of a summertime thing for me. anyway, at least it's brewed by someone who believes in carrying on the good bastard name. i think that'd make ODB proud.